Today, we return to a deeper investigation of the six pillars that make up a meaningful, complete and most importantly of all - a happy life. Remember my premise right at the start because it is key to living the life you were totally born to live. "You are meant to have an amazing life!" It's that simple - you really are meant to have an amazing life, and hopefully by adopting some of the strategies I've been suggesting, you can begin to do exactly that.
The fourth important factor that limits us from being the best we can possibly be is; fear, doubt, anxiety, and worry. These emotions effectively rob us of so many of the wonderful opportunities that are presented to us every single day. We spend hours of our precious time on this planet worrying about things that are outside of our control; that we can do absolutely nothing about anyway; so much so that we forget, or miss the chances to experience the things that can bring us the joy and the happiness that every one of us so richly deserves. The key is to live in the PRESENT!
Now, I've written a number of blogs in the past about these particular emotions, but they are that critical to us living the life we deserve that they warrant a recap. I cannot stress enough just how debilitating and soul-destroying worry and fear can be. There are so many people who are literally paralyzed by fear or anxiety and consequently they are selling themselves short of the joy, the sense of achievement, and the thrill of trying something new.
To me, it simply means that we must focus everyday on the things that are happening right now. How we live our life today will, with an absolute certainty reflect back on how our lives unfold, when tomorrow is finally created.
Exactly the same thing applies to yesterday. Yesterday is gone, buried, and dealt with. Nothing we did yesterday can be changed or undone. The ONLY thing that we have any control over at all is how we behave, and what we do today. This is what "living in the present" really means. It is about letting go of any disappointments, arguments, problems, mistakes or conflicts that occurred yesterday and ensuring that what we do today will not result in those same results.
Similarly, forget about what tomorrow may or may not bring - remember tomorrow is the sum of what you do and achieve today; so by focusing on this very moment, you are creating your own tomorrow. You are in control - you are the creator; but only if you live in the present; the here and now.
I get it - we live in a seemingly dangerous, confusing, fast-paced, constantly changing, and at times quite frightening and bewildering world. It is very easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant stream of negativity that we are exposed to on a daily basis.
How do we stop ourselves from worrying?
Let's address first of all our concerns and worries about what happened yesterday. When I say yesterday, I actually mean every yesterday, that ever there was, in your life. I know for so many people, they have this tendency to dwell in the past - to self-flagellate themselves about their perceived mistakes and the failures that they feel they had made before. So often this fear of repeating the same mistakes, facing the same humiliation, and feeling like a failure, absolutely stops them from ever trying anything new again. They have dreams, they have plans, they have great ideas; but always it is easier to remain in their "comfort zone" and avoid the possibility of failure.
What you think of as being YOUR fear of failure, is in fact not you at all. It is an insane little creature that lives inside your head called your ego. When you think that you are busily telling yourself that you are a loser, that you can't possibly do that cool thing you really want to, or implement that brilliant idea that you came up with; remember that is not the real YOU talking, it is your ego!
Failure is not to be feared - failure is a good thing because it is the very FIRST step on the road to success. People who avoid failure at all costs, also avoid success, and achieve mediocrity, at best. If you want to achieve and be the greatest you that you can possibly be; the fear of failure must not be your watchword - what you have to do is to actually make a start, and then persist.
What if you push your fear away and try something new; but you don't initially succeed? Will the world end? Will the sun still rise tomorrow? Actually, two wonderful things will have happened to you.
- You will feel immense pride in yourself for having tried something new that you've always wanted to try. Perhaps for the very first time you will have given some new idea, endeavor or adventure your absolute best effort and there is immense satisfaction to be had in that. This is where you get your true growth, as a person, from. This is where you get to fall in love with yourself (which is critical to your ultimate success); and
- You are now experienced at whatever you tried. Sure you made mistakes, and maybe even some poor decisions, but you can use those as building blocks for the next time. You will not make those same mistakes again.
Very few people get it "right" first time - but here's the rub; if you don't participate in the race, you sure as hell can't win it. You want to do all these things; whatever they are. They are the things that give you passion, joy, excitement and achievement - and it is your right to do them; but if you don't even try because you are paralyzed by memories of past failures, you have condemned yourself to nothing more than mere existing.
Let go of the past and embrace the "now".
My answer is always the same; "There is no tomorrow!" This great unknown that so many of us are so frightened of, is out there somewhere - in the future; but the future has yet to be created. You are the only person who actually can create your future and more importantly, the ONLY thing that you personally can control is YOU. If you want to ensure your future has all the things that you dream of and aspire to; then what you do today and how you live today will create that future. There is only today.
If you spend all your time worrying about and focusing on all the bad things that might, just possibly happen in the future, then guess what - that's exactly what you future will hold. You will have attracted to yourself the people, circumstance and conditions that you focused on today. You will force the Universe to deliver to you the very things you desire to avoid - How nonsensical would that be?
I read an interesting comment the other day that may or may not be true, but for me it does have the ring of common sense about it. "Only 8% of the things we were worrying about this time last year, actually came to pass". So why are we spending all our time worrying about that eight percent.
I'm not suggesting you don't plan for the future; that you don't set goals for the future; or that you live for today, at the expense of the future. That would be just as silly as actually worrying about the future. Set those goals, have those dreams, and aspire to that greatness; BUT remember, unless you actually do something about it today, they can never come true.
First and foremost; try to make a deliberate effort to cut down on all the negative, scary diet of news that we are constantly bombarded with every single day. I actually cut all media from my life for an entire month and I was literally stunned at the positive effect it had on my day, on my demeanor, on my attitude, and just on my general temperament. We tend to think we're just keeping up with the news; but what we really are doing is passively feeding our fears, our anxieties and that voracious little ego inside our head that wants to scare us silly into doing nothing.
Find something else, positive to do in those times you would normally watch the news, read the paper or surf the websites - How about writing down a list of the things you plan to achieve this year and making an actual start on one or two of them? Now there's an idea!
You are not going to make your future what you want it to be by sitting on the couch being bombarded by negativity every day. You don't have to be as extreme as I was, but just removing some negativity will result in a surprisingly positively enhanced day. Give it a try - what have you got to lose?
I know how hard it is to cut people from your life; especially people who are closely related to you, or with whom you have been friends since grade school; but the reality is that many of our so called "friends" actually revel in criticizing us, bringing us down, gossiping about us, or constantly complaining, whinging and moaning about their lives and the injustices done to them. These people are hurting you and you need to create distance from them. Even if it is impossible to actually "jettison" them, and I do understand that; at least spend as little time with them as possible,
Surround yourself with people; who share your vision of life; who lift you up and praise you, when you try something new; who will always offer their advice, their time and their skills to help you achieve what you want to achieve. In today's exciting, interconnected world it is so much easier to find these people than it has ever been before.
Your time on this planet is short - don't waste a second of it in negative, destructive and ultimately useless personal interaction. You owe it to yourself. If you are the best you can be, you automatically can help others achieve their dreams also.
- Decide NOW (this very moment) what it is you truly desire to have or do in the future.
- Experience having, or doing that thing, completely and utterly, inside your own mind, until what it is you desire to have or do is already part of your own reality.
- When you have achieved what you want in your own mind then set about working diligently to bring it into everyone else's reality.
It's a simple technique, but an incredibly powerful one and most important of all, it works.
- Luck and coincidence are not real. Everything we experience in our reality is brought about by our own thoughts and actions and is ultimately for our own good. We are exactly where we are meant to be in life's journey and moving forward is totally in our own hands. If you are the person you want to be NOW, tomorrow will eventually be nothing more than a wonderful today.
- We have inside each and every one of us the potential for greatness. We are all unique, talented and gifted human beings. Only some will discover their true calling in life and it will be those individuals who will have extraordinary, happy and fulfilled lives. We are limited only by our view of ourselves. YOU can be one of them.
Don't let fear cripple your ambitions. Embrace the present and be the person you want to be today; tomorrow will take care of itself.
Until next week:
Have a great life and spread the love!
Changing the world – one reader at a time!