16 and Pregnant with Twins by Elisabeth van der Wilt tells us the story of sixteen-year-old, Catholic home-schooled Lora who is totally innocent in the ways of the world. When she meets up with her fellow home-schooled friend, Tommy, the inevitable happens and some innocent exploration of feelings quickly turns to much more, as the two innocents experiment with sex. When Lora realises she is pregnant, she reluctantly tells her parents who respond by throwing her out of the house and banning her from their family. Fortunately Tommy and Tommy's parents are much more supportive and pledge to help her and the young couple, especially when their first sonogram shows they are expecting twins.
Elisabeth van der Wilt admits at the end of 16 and Pregnant with Twins that she wrote this story when she was twelve years old and for that she should be commended. However and consequently it does indeed read like a middle-grader's essay on the subject. The dialogue is unbelievable and poorly constructed and the story meanders from one event to the next, with no clear destination in mind. Don't get me wrong, there is a story in here and a good story, but what it needs is two things: A good content editor to tidy up the grammar and the structure of the story and a good proofread to remove and correct all the incorrect words, missing words, and typos. I would commend van der Wilt for this effort, but suggest it is not ready to be on sale and she should seriously consider making the corrections before re-offering it on Amazon. As I said, she is to be commended for being able to produce work of this quality at a young age and I hope she continues to write and continues to improve over time.
Elisabeth van der Wilt admits at the end of 16 and Pregnant with Twins that she wrote this story when she was twelve years old and for that she should be commended. However and consequently it does indeed read like a middle-grader's essay on the subject. The dialogue is unbelievable and poorly constructed and the story meanders from one event to the next, with no clear destination in mind. Don't get me wrong, there is a story in here and a good story, but what it needs is two things: A good content editor to tidy up the grammar and the structure of the story and a good proofread to remove and correct all the incorrect words, missing words, and typos. I would commend van der Wilt for this effort, but suggest it is not ready to be on sale and she should seriously consider making the corrections before re-offering it on Amazon. As I said, she is to be commended for being able to produce work of this quality at a young age and I hope she continues to write and continues to improve over time.
You can take a look at 16 and Pregnant with Twins by Elisabeth van der Wilt here on Amazon:
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