In the four years since, I can honestly say I haven't regretted, for a single second, the decision I made back then.
That's not to suggest that everything has been all "sweetness and light" since I arrived; in fact far from it. It has been a massive learning curve for myself, my new wife and my second family; but we have faced the hurdles and difficulties head on and now are much the stronger for having done so. My motivation for making the break and coming here to the Philippines is perhaps no longer relevant, but at 51 (a little bit late perhaps for a mid-life crisis it's true) I felt a need to experience and try something new - to try to figure out just exactly what was my purpose on this green and blue planet we call Earth.
In many ways I struck it lucky. I met, fell in love and married the most amazing woman in the world. A woman that fills me with joy, happiness and purpose with just a lift of her eyebrow or a shy smile in my direction. Without having her support and love none of this would have been possible, or even more importantly; none of this would have been worthwhile.
It was only after those first two years of being a full-time "house husband" that I actually began to question what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I was clearly too young to retire and I felt that I was a bit too old to be my wife's "toy-boy" or a "kept-man"; so the problem was, what to do. I looked at various options that might be available to me, but without the language, getting a "normal" job over here was always going to be a bit tricky. I looked at teaching as an option, but the country had tightened up significantly over the past years on who could teach here; so that didn't leave a lot of other choices.
It was only when I was "accidentally" exposed to the film "The Secret", that I actually began to realize there might be a different way of approaching my life - a better way.
Now "bliss" was a concept that I was not overly familiar with. I decided I could count on the fingers of one hand the times in my life when I could have described myself as being truly blissful. The underlying construct that came through to me was that the most blissful times of my life were when I was involved in a job (or study) that involved writing. Almost like an epiphany I realized that the one thing that truly made me happy was when I was being creative and writing.
With that realization came the sure certainty that my future involved writing of some sort. I set about to write my first novel - something I'd had a half-hearted crack at several times in the past, but never got past the first chapter. Mind you; I always thought that first chapter was something pretty special. In the eighteen months since I've embarked on my new "career", I've completed two full novels; one of which will be published within the month, and I'm now working on my third.
Of course that is not to say that I don't have the odd bad day, the odd time when I revert to my old self and become grumpy or annoyed over minor, petty issues, but thankfully those occasions are now few and far between.
What I’d like to share with you today are some techniques that I use to ensure that even when the "bad moment" comes along, I am able to remain as much as possible in the right frame of mind and in the right “vibration” to ensure that good things happen to me.
I do understand that we are all at different points in our lives and your circumstances might be totally different to mine. A few years ago I might have agreed that sometimes it is simply impossible to be happy, but now I know better. It is always possible; you just need to use some simple techniques to change your mind-set.
So, I’d like to share with you just three simple techniques that I've learnt, to put yourself in a happier state. Now, these might initially seem just too simple, but that’s the point – they are VERY simple and require little or no effort, but have wonderful outcomes. If you try them, I can guarantee you will raise the level of your emotional happiness and you will raise your “vibration”. Whenever I feel the fingers of doubt clutching at my mind, trying to get me down or I feel the beginning of those all too familiar feeling of frustration or boredom, I use these techniques to lift my spirits and put me back in the positive frame of mind that I want to be.
You are a unique human being, a wonder of creation. You have talents that nobody else that has ever lived, or will ever live has. Sometime we just need to remind ourselves of that simple fact.
A great example of how we constantly downplay ourselves and mentally put ourselves down is when someone asks us, as they often do; “How are you?” When someone asks you that question, what is your usual response? Do you ever say; “I’m great thanks” or is it more likely that you’ll say something like; “Oh, I’m okay” or “Ah, not so bad”. Your response to this question often comes from the area of the mind that I would call “autopilot”. It is a conditioned response. You have been conditioned to believe that the person asking the question actually doesn’t really care that much about how you “really” are, so your programmed response is your “autopilot” response; “I’m okay”.
The point here is that the more you tell yourself how great you are; the more YOU will believe it and the sooner you will start feeling great in all areas of your life. The person’s intention in asking is irrelevant to you. Tell them and, more importantly, tell yourself; “I’m great”; I’m fantastic” or I’m wonderful”. All these responses are guaranteed to lift your feeling frequency and to make you feel better than you were before. This is something you should be doing at every opportunity during your day.
When you first wake in the morning; greet the new day enthusiastically and remind yourself just how great you are. Whenever you pass a mirror, or a shop window with your reflection, look not at the physical apparition that stares back at you, but look instead at the wonderful, amazing you that you know yourself to be and just say; “I am great”. You’ll be surprised just how quickly this affirmation becomes an ingrained part of your subconscious and how quickly you will begin to BELIEVE it.
You will be genuinely surprised at how effective this minor adjustment to your day can be to totally uplift you and raise your overall feeling of well-being.
Even if it’s just for one day, take a break from work, cancel your usual plans, do something unexpected and spontaneous. It is very easy for us to become so totally buried in our daily routine that we end up feeling like we are in a rut. Just making a change as simple as taking a different route to work or changing the way you get to work – taking the bus, or train, instead of your car, can refresh you immensely.
Doing things over and over again that are unpleasant or uninspiring is one of the main reasons why people become depressed. To spice up your life, try something new that you’ve never done before, and make it interesting and challenging! Think of just one thing you’ve always said to yourself; “I wish I could try that” – and TRY it. If you have a “bucket list” then choose one item from that list and get it done. There is a reason that people say “variety is the spice of life” – That’s because it is; so change it up guys.
One thing that can prevent us from living in our true expression of joy is that we are hanging onto negative energy. There are a number of ways to releasing negative energy from our systems but one of the simplest ways is as follows: To release it, try this simple yet effective exercise and enjoy feeling great almost immediately:
“Close your eyes and take a deep breath. As you inhale focus on breathing in uplifting feelings of peace and happiness and with each exhale, release any tension or stress.
Another excellent method and one that I personally use extensively is the simple practice of laughter. In this case; “laughter really is the best medicine”. Whatever you need to do to get yourself laughing, then do it. For me it is quite easy. All I do is get on YouTube and search up “Top Gear”, “7 Days”, any “Blackadder” episode or perhaps still the best one to have me in stitches; “Open All Hours”. Just a few minutes of watching any of these shows will have the tears rolling down my cheeks and enormous “belly” laughs exploding from me. Now, just try and tell me that you don’t feel better after that much laughter. It is absolutely guaranteed to lift my spirits and set me back on the right road of happiness.
Have an awesome day, an awesome week, an awesome year and an awesome life and never forget you are fantastic! You are a wonder of creation!
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