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GRANT LEISHMAN

SELF-IMPROVEMENT QUAGMIRE

26/5/2015

1 Comment

 
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Today, I'd like to talk about one of the fastest growing and explosive industries in the world today - that of self-improvement. The self-improvement gurus of the world are everywhere, especially on the internet; all desperately trying to grab your attention, your email address and most importantly, your money. 

If the Eighties was the decade of the fitness craze; with Jazzercise, Jazzergetics and Jazz.....just about anything; the Nineties was the decade of the ME Generation, governed and driven by one burning desire - to create more wealth for ME; although to what end, I'm not totally sure; then what of the Twenty-First Century?

The first decade of this Century has been marked, without a doubt, by the information explosion. The internet has opened up the world to just about everyone. The decade's most compelling feature has been the explosion of online Social Media; be it Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, or the veritable host of other ways of connecting and communicating with people. 

These trends all have one interlinking and fascinating thread. None of them, it seems has made us any wiser, any happier, or any more fulfilled. We still seem to be searching for that panacea - that formula that will help us understand the point of our existence - Herald the decade of the "self-improvement gurus"!

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It's almost as if all over the world, the baby-boomers of the fifties and sixties have either just reached retirement or are rapidly approaching it; and they are sitting back and asking the question: Is this it? Is this what I've been slaving away for sixty hours a week to achieve? Into this vacuum of knowledge and doubt, riding astride their white chargers come the self-help gurus to solve all of our problems with their particular system or program. Now, I'm not trying to denigrate the work these people do - it all does contain the essence of truth, but to differentiate it from their neighbor's program, they have to make it seem different - seem special; because at the end of the day what they want is your money. That's what keeps them in their own, wonderful world of abundance. 

Since I began my own voyage of self-discovery around four years ago, I've read, listened to, or watched many of these programs and let me tell you right off the bat - many of them are incredibly compelling and hard to resist. I thank God every single day that I don't have a credit card because I have no doubt if I did, I would have succumbed to the temptation on numerous occasions and my shelves would be filled, like so many other people's, with books, DVD's and computer programs that I'd read or viewed and then consigned to the shelf in the sure and certain knowledge that my life was about to get better - NOT!

What I have done is assimilate much knowledge over these past four years about some basic principles that we need to live our lives by if we want to experience true abundance, happiness and joy. All the advice and direction from the "gurus" is wonderful and useful information, but at its core always remains some very basic principles that any of us can put into practice in our one lives and make an enormous difference to our life, as well as that of our family and wider circle of friends.   

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The idea of self-improvement has been around for decades; one only has to think of the work of people like; Earl Nightingale, with his long playing records; Napoleon Hill, with his seminal work, "Think and Grow Rich", or even Tony Robbins, with his frenetic, almost theatrical stage shows. I think it is fair to say that it was the 2006 release of Rhonda Byrne's, movie "The Secret" that finally brought this whole new way of looking at life, fairly and squarely into the public arena. Since "The Secret" was released, and of course featured on the most influential talk show of them all - Oprah, the concept of "The Law of Attraction" and of abundance has reached and been seen by literally hundreds of millions of people. Most of the self-improvement gurus of today can trace their genealogy directly to the release of that movie.

Right from the start I need to say; "I don't believe 'The Law of Attraction' is real - I know, with an absolute certainty, it is real; we are and we become what we think." That having been said, whether you believe in it or not, is totally irrelevant - it will influence your life in no less a way than gravity, electromagnetism or any other natural law, whatever you believe. 

As I said earlier, there are a plethora of self-help gurus out there vying for your attention. If you stumble across one that resonates with you, that actually makes a difference in the way you're thinking, then by all means grab a hold of that person and suck as much useful information as you can from them. They all offer some of their insight for free (it's their cunning way of (a) getting your email address and (b) convincing you to buy the rest of their product to get the bits they didn't give you for free). I have literally read hundreds of different gurus over the past four years and although I still get nuggets of pure gold from all them from time to time, there are a few who actually make me sit up and listen - for different reasons. 

I'll give their names, but in no way am I suggesting that just because they resonate with me, they also will with you. 

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1/ Rhonda Byrne: Really, she is the originator of this whole industry. Most of today's participants were influenced by her movie "The Secret". For me, however it is her two latter books that have the greatest influence on me; "The Power" and "The Hero". My wife and I listen to one or other of these, on audio, every night before we sleep. "The Hero", for me, is one of the greatest encouragements I have ever read or listened to. Truly, it is an inspiring book and I would recommend it to anyone interested in discovering the purpose of their life. If you haven't checked her out yet, by all means do so, here:  http://www.rhondabyrne.net/

2/ Jack Canfield: Jack was one of the first self-help gurus I encountered and the reason he resonated so much with me is he's not only an author, but he's probably one of the most sold and read authors in history. His "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series of books alone have sold well in excess of 100 million copies worldwide. He is not only a successful author, but he is an awesome coach. He is straight-forward and businesslike in his approach. He constantly reminds us that success doesn't come from sitting on the couch watching television. You can check Jack out here: http://jackcanfield.com/

3/ Bob Proctor: What I love the most about Bob is that he has been doing this "self-improvement" gig for nigh on fifty years now - long before it became fashionable and long before the internet made it so much easier to disseminate the information. Bob is now in his late eighties I believe and yet he still has the vibrancy, zest and enthusiasm for life of a man half his age. What he tells us are simple, easy to follow; rules for a happy life. You can access Bob's wisdom here: http://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/ 

4/ Andy Shaw: Andy is an Englishman who "tells it like it is". He approaches the subject from this simple idea; the reason most people fail to live abundant lives is because they don't know how to think. All our lives we've been taught "what to think" but no-one ever teaches us "how to think". Well Andy does that, in his own inimitable, and sometimes irritating way; but trust me his system is pure gold and I can credit much of my current thought processes to Andy's teaching. You can get much of his gems for free by visiting him here: http://www.abugfreemind.com/ii/

Now, I've never paid any of these people a cent (and it's quite probable that one day I will - as there is so much more I want to know) but my point is there is enough free information on any of these websites to literally change your life FOREVER.

It would of course be remiss of me to leave this section on self-help gurus without mentioning the one person what has had more influence in turning my life around than all of the self-help gurus put together - that is of course my life partner, my soulmate (cliched I know), my best friend, my lover and my darling wife - Thess. I can't emphasis enough how important it is to have the right people beside you on life's journey. She is definitely my right person.  

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As I stated at the start, I want to give you just a few of the absolute gems that I have discovered to date on my journey. Over the next six weeks I will expand on each of these in turn, but for now I would like to just give you some food for thought and ideas on what makes for a life full of purpose and joy:

1/ Life is SUPPOSED to be good: You are meant to live a life of joy and happiness, doing what you absolutely love doing and making a difference in your life, your family's life, your friend's lives and in society as a whole. You were not meant to live a life of struggle and pain - working all hours God sends in a job that has no satisfaction or joy for you, grabbing only a few brief hours of pleasure at the weekends. What would be the point of your life?  

2/ Attitude is Everything: I love Henry Ford's quote to describe best what I mean by this: "If you think you can, or if you think you can't - you're right." Everything we do needs to be approached with an attitude of achievement. I didn't think I could write a novel, and for many years I was right. Once I thought to myself that I could do it - I absolutely did it! Incidentally said novel is called "The Second Coming" and will be available this coming month. Please buy it and feed a starving writer! 

3/ Love is the ultimate power in the Universe: Everything good, joyful and wonderful in this world and in our life is brought about by love. Everything negative, sad and destructive in the world and in our life, is brought about simply; by a lack of love. The key to success and happiness is to "fall in love with life". 

4/ Fear, doubt, anxiety, and worry rob us of the wonderful opportunities that are presented to us every single day. We spend so much of our lives worrying about things that are outside of our control, that we forget or miss the chances to experience the things that can bring us the joy and the happiness that every one of us so richly deserves. The key is to live in the PRESENT! 

5/ Happiness IS a choice: Happiness is a personal choice that we can and should make every single day. What is the benefit to us and everyone around us from choosing to be unhappy? It is the most pointless of decisions and yet so many of us continually make the decision not to be happy. As Andy Shaw would say in his no-nonsense way; "That's just insanity!" 

6/ Gratitude is the oil that makes the engines of abundance flow freely. Gratitude is a word that you will come across in every single self-help book you ever read. We all like to think we are grateful most of the time, but when you actually analyse your own behaviors you will quickly realize just what ungrateful little beggars we really are. I know I sure did. Gratitude has a power that absolutely defies belief. I can't actually tell you where I got this little gem of a quote from, but to me it sums it up perfectly. "If the only prayer you ever utter in your entire life is; 'Thank You', then that's enough".

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So there we have it; the six fundamental, core beliefs I now live my life by. As I said earlier, I'll devote the next six blogs to expanding and explaining more about those core beliefs. Why? Because it really is that critical to understanding the power of the Universe. There are so many "gurus" out there now, that sometimes you just have to strip away the puffery and look at the core. All of the gurus have these core beliefs, they just have their own unique way of presenting them and in doing so, have created an enormous, billion-dollar industry. 

Till next week:

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE PRESENTS TO YOU AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! 

Have a great life and spread the love! 

 Changing the world – one reader at a time!  

1 Comment

SUMMER!

11/5/2015

2 Comments

 
PictureThe glorious sunsets of Mindoro
Well, since I've been away for a couple of weeks, I thought I'd do something a bit different for the first blog back after my break. 

Now, you remember when you were a kid and every year the first day back at school after the summer break was always the same: "Okay children, I want you to write an essay on what you did in your Summer Holidays". So, that's what I will do you for you today - an essay entitled: "What I did on my Summer Vacation".  

What I Did On My Summer Vacation: by Grant Leishman

PictureThe Island of Mindoro
This year, unlike in previous summers, we did not go to the beach for our vacation. We traveled instead to San Jose, Occidental Mindoro to attend my wife Tess' Grand High School Reunion and College Reunion. You can fly from Manila to San Jose in around 35 minutes, but we never like to take the easy route, so we did the trip by land and sea with the reliable old Dimple Star Bus Line. 

So it was, that at 3 a.m. on the Friday morning Thess, our youngest daughter Rose, and I headed out of our door for the epic sixteen and a half hour journey to San Jose. Personally, I love doing the trip by land, you get to see so much more and somehow it seems like more of an adventure than the impersonality of a quick airplane trip. You get to meet and chat with fellow passengers; who like you, are just stuck on the bus with nowhere to go and nothing to do. It somehow seems much more egalitarian, if somewhat more tiring, than traveling by plane. 

To give you some idea of the travel involved; from home, it was a jeepney ride to Novaliches, then a bus trip to Santolan, where we boarded the Dimple Star Bus. At Santolan, we had two choices; we could go on the bus to Abra de Ilog in Occidental Mindoro and travel down the western side of the island to San Jose, or we could go via Calapan in Oriental Mindoro, and travel down the eastern side of the island, before crossing the mountains at the bottom, to San Jose. Being the adventurous souls that we are, we chose the Calapan route, as we'd never done it that way before.

Sixteen and a half bone shaking hours later we emerged from our bus, stretching, "oohing" and "aahing" to grab a quick tricycle ride to our accommodation at The Sikatuna Beach Hotel.    

PictureRose, Thess and I at the Sikatuna
The first two days of our visit were taken up with activities related to the Grand Reunion 2015 of St Joseph's School of San Jose. 

One of the things I've always been aware of since I've been living here is the great importance that Filipino's place on family, on barkada (circle of friends) and on home town. I suspect it is partly because so many Filipinos are spread all around the world, either working as OFW's (Overseas Foreign Workers) or having emigrated to other countries. I read somewhere once that the Philippine people are the most geographically dispersed nationality in the world. This may go to the heart of the reason why reunions (of any sort) are so popular and so widespread in this country.

Personally, I've never been to a school reunion (my own) in my life, and I couldn't imagine ever having the desire to do so, but for Filipinos, school reunions are big news and very important to them. We have a lot to thank Facebook for in reuniting so many of these old classmates. Prior to my arrival here Thess had not attended one of her High School Reunions, but it was reconnecting with her old friends on Facebook that convinced her to take the plunge and to go. This reunion, the 2015 version, was our second that we had attended. 

Now bear in mind that St Joseph's School (for girls only) actually closed in the mid 1980's, some thirty odd years ago and yet after all that time there is still a vibrant and hard-working alumni in San Jose who work their tails off to put together this amazing Grand Reunion every three years. People literally do travel from all over the world to attend and to reunite, reconnect and reminisce with their old buddies from their school days. For me, who has been privileged enough to have witnessed this event twice, it is quite simply incredible and awe-inspiring.   

PictureBatch 76 of SJS
Saturday started bright and early, with appropriately enough for a Catholic School, a Mass at the local Catholic Church - and then the fun began. The Saturday was dedicated to each Batch organising and making their own fun among themselves, and boy did they do that! 

Thess' Batch was Batch 76 and they all met, following the Mass, at the Seaside Restobar in San Jose, where the organising committee had done an amazing job of putting together a wonderful feed as well as lots of home-made entertainment.

As one of only, I think, three men in the room at the time I had an absolute blast watching these middle-aged ladies, completely and utterly let their hair down. They danced, they sang, they ate, they posed for numerous photos and most importantly they caught up with each other - their High School friends of so many years ago. I was privileged to be able to watch some of the most staid, prim and proper women of Manila, San Jose and many parts elsewhere, let go and have fun. It was just so entertaining to see them enjoying themselves so completely. The highlight for me was the stripper impersonation dance by one of the more distinguished members of the alumni, who shall remain nameless; (but we know who you are). Fear not, the video is safely locked away in the vault.         

PictureThe Dancing Girls of Batch 76
After the celebrations we repaired to the house of one of the Alumni, where the dancing, eating, singing and general merriment would continue. I asked Thess at one stage; "who were the 'mean girls' at School?" I mean every batch has their bunch of cliquey "mean girls" - right? The thing was she couldn't remember anyone fitting that description. Certainly there were no cliques at the reunion. Sure there were girls who were closer than others at High School, but thirty nine years on, everyone was everyone's friend. 

There was a special part of the Batch 76 reunion where the ladies remembered their school friends who were no longer with them. One of the things Batch 76 had done was to set up a fund to assist those of them who had fallen on hard times and also to provide a scholarship fund for the children of their own. 

We were privy to a very emotional and moving speech by the recipient of this scholarship. His mother (the ladies classmate) had died several years earlier and without the scholarship this young man would never have had the opportunity to pursue his dreams. There was nary a dry eye in the house after his speech of thanks and gratitude to the alumni. Long may this attitude of giving and support continue to provide assistance to future generations.     

PictureIn their full Hawaiian garb - from L to R: Thess Paclibar Leishman, Evelyn Dela Cruz and Lyca San Juan Delgado
Sunday was dedicated to the Grand Reunion 2015. In the morning there was a parade of buses and trucks through the town of San Jose. Unfortunately Thess didn't quite make it to the parade this year as there was also a parade through the town of the native Mangyan people, down from their mountain villages. The resultant traffic chaos ensure that she did not arrive in time to join in the cavalcade. 

The Grand Reunion itself was again held at the Divine Word College gymnasium (thankfully now air-conditioned) on the Sunday evening. I have no idea of the numbers of woman that poured into the gymnasium that evening, but I suspect it was upward of two thousand. There were a few of the Illuminati to be spotted among the crowds of laughing, jostling women. The Mayor and Deputy Mayor of San Jose put in a brief appearance. I imagine the sheer volume of women present was more than enough to scare him and his colleague off - but for whatever reason they weren't in attendance for long. Also present was the former Governor of Occidental Mindoro, and now Congresswoman, the Honorable Josephine Ramirez Sato, a former student of St Joseph's School. 

The presence of these dignitaries in no way inhibited the women of SJS who continued their excited chatter and laughing through all the necessary but interminably long speeches. Nobody seemed to mind though and as one lady was heard to quip following the former principal's speech of welcome: "She used to talk too much when we were schoolgirls - she certainly hasn't changed." 

As the night drew to a close, with the obligatory hugs, kisses and farewells we were left to reflect on yet another successful Grand Reunion of SJS. Sadly I did point out to Thess that with the school long closed, there will eventually come a day when such reunions are no longer viable, but until that day these ladies of San Jose and parts everywhere will come together to celebrate the special days of their youth. Roll on Grand Reunion 2018 - We'll be there!      

PictureThess and I with her BFF from her college days Chon TJ
After two full days of eating, general silliness and never-ending laughter it was on to the more sedate and staid arena of the Divine Word College Reunion. Held in the same venue as the SJS reunion, it was totally different, yet equally enjoyable. Thess had not only graduated from Divine Word, she had also worked there both during her student days and later, after graduation, so for her it was a chance to catch up, after many. many years with batch-mates and colleagues alike.

The SJS women, just by the sheer size of their reunion were required to fill the bleachers on either side of the gymnasium, whereas the Divine Word attendees were able to sit at tables and chairs in the middle of the gym. The food was superb, but for me the most telling point of the evening came when the MC proffered the thought that maybe one day the Divine Word College Reunion would rival the spirit, excitement and camaraderie of the SJS reunion. To me that spoke volumes of the impact the SJS women still have on the San Jose community, even so long after their school was closed down. 

What amazed me the most was the recognition factor. Even after almost forty odd years everyone still seemed to know instinctively who each other was. All I can say my darling, is your High School and College years must have been much more memorable for you, than mine were for me. 

I know Thess was thrilled to spend time with so many of her old friends from those early adult years. By the time we returned to the hotel that evening she was glowing with the sheer pleasure of the last three days. For me, who never even went to these schools, the reunions were just as much fun as for Thess. I have a whole new circle of friends now and to see my darling wife so happy, so joyful and so uninhibited, just overflows my heart.  

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Our summer vacation was concluded with some time spent at Thess' Papang's place in Rizal, a small rural community in the hinterland of Occidental Mindoro, about 40 klms from San Jose. After the excitement of the reunions it was a chance to lay back and rest, letting the worries of the world just fall off you. I always cherish the time we spend in Rizal because I suspect little has changed in their way of life over the past decades. It is quiet, peaceful and downright restful. 

Fully recharged we headed back to Manila after a brief overnight stop in Mamburao at the home of Thess' sister. 

All in all, a very different vacation from the usual, but an immensely enjoyable one. No, I didn't get to do any swimming this time around, but as the photo shows at least we were able to enjoy the peaceful solitude of a walk along Sikatuna Beach in San Jose.

And that is what I did this Summer - I hope you enjoyed reading it and give me an A+ please 

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE PRESENTS TO YOU AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! 


Have a great life and spread the love! 

 Changing the world – one reader at a time!  
2 Comments

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