So, we have reached the sixth and final pillar in our journey of self-discovery and  our search for a happy and purpose-filled life. I hope what we have covered has been as much use to you in reaching that place you want to be, as it has been for me. Today we unwrap the final foundation stone - and that is GRATITUDE!

Why is gratitude so important in helping us to achieve our goals?

One thing you will find often in the world of self-improvement is a never-ending trail of "trite little sayings" or "cliched expressions". You should never necessarily reject something just because it is cliched. There is a reason that cliches gain ascendancy and that is because at their core they hold a vital kernel of truth. 

One particular expression that absolutely resonates from me comes from the motivational speaker Lisa Nichols. She says; "Gratitude is the rich soil in which our future grows." There is so much truth in that simple statement. The way we think, speak and act today, directly impacts on where we will be tomorrow. We've seen right throughout this series, that one of the biggest keys to life is to live in the PRESENT. It is how we live in the present that determines what our tomorrow will be and gratitude is an absolutely vital component of that process.

So, simply put, gratitude is the oil that makes the engines of abundance flow freely. It is a word that you will come across in every single self-help book you ever read. 

We all like to think we are grateful most of the time, but when you actually analyse your own behaviors you will quickly realize just what ungrateful little beggars we really are. I know I certainly did. 

Gratitude has a power that absolutely defies belief. In Rhonda Byrne's book "The Power" she quotes 13th Century German philosopher and mystic, Meister Eckhart little gem, that sums it up perfectly. "If the only prayer you ever utter in your entire life is; 'Thank You', then that will suffice". 

What we need to do is to develop an automatic attitude of gratitude and in order to do that we probably need to make a few, minor adjustments in our lifestyle and the way in which we view the world. I said earlier that most of us believe we are inherently grateful human beings, but the reality of the situation is that we are not. Most of us spend way more time complaining, whining, and criticizing than we ever do feeling grateful and satisfied with our situation. 

You can not portray an attitude of gratitude if you continue to hold onto your old ways of thinking. A good example of this is the common expressions we often use or hear others using: "I'll be so grateful when the kids finally graduate; I'll be grateful when we have enough money to pay the monthly bills; I'll be eternally grateful, if you just do this one little thing for me; or I will be thankful when..." The reality is we have to be grateful and thankful for what we have now, today. 

If I was to ask you who was the greatest scientific mind in history, there might be some arguments. Perhaps some people would argue for Michelangelo; after all he was both artistic and scientific, or perhaps Newton, or maybe even Steven Hawking might get a look in, but I'm betting the majority of us would plump for Albert Einstein as the creme-de-la-creme of scientific minds. 

Now Einstein was an interesting character. When he was asked to what he owed his incredible genius; he merely shrugged and acknowledged his faith in gratitude. He replied that every single day he said "thank you" to the collective brains of the men and women that preceded him in the field of Physics. He didn't just say "thank you" once or twice though - he said it over one hundred times per day. Can you imagine such gratitude? Is it any wonder, therefore, that the Universe saw fit to reveal so many of its secrets to Albert Einstein. 

Like Sir Isaac Newton before him, here was a man, who humbly admitted that his achievements were made solely by standing on the shoulders of the giants who went before him. What an amazing attitude!

I know a very common trait at about this time is for some people to throw their hands up in disgust and exclaim; "what have I got to be thankful for? My life sucks!" My simple answer to that would be that if it sucks, it sucks because of your negative thoughts, words and attitudes that you have embraced in the past - changing those now (today) will change your future, but it runs even deeper than that. 

I want to give you an example of one Helen Keller. Now Helen, at age 19 months, contracted an illness that left her deaf and therefore effectively speechless, as she had not had time to learn much language by that stage. If that wasn't enough of life's little hurdles for her to clamber over; she was also struck blind, by the illness. 

Those of us that know Helen's story know that she rose from being considered by many to be a burden; a waste of space and time, to become the first deaf/blind person to gain a University degree, to become a writer, a political activist, and a teacher who would go on to influence and change the lives of so many people, both disabled and able-bodied during her 87 years on this planet. 

Did Helen Keller's life suck? By any standards we might apply to our own live's sucking - then certainly it did! 

Did she let that affect her and stop her? No, she did not. Helen Keller was grateful for what she did have - in the same way that we have to be grateful for the things that we have. 

I don't care how bad the circumstances are in your life - there is ALWAYS something you can be grateful for. Every morning you can be grateful for a new day, a new opportunity to breathe, to walk, to talk and to exist. We take for granted so many of the wonderful experiences and things that we as human beings are blessed to enjoy and be grateful for every, single day - open your senses and enjoy the world around you and be grateful for the opportunity.    

OK, so how about some practical steps in adopting the "attitude of gratitude". 

- Say "thank you" at every single opportunity that arises - and don't just say it as a matter of course; because that's what your parents taught you to do. Actually mean it - be grateful for whatever that person has done for you. Even if you are paying for something, that doesn't lessen the effort that person put into bringing it to you - be grateful and thankful.

- Start saying "thank you" every time you sit down to eat or drink. A lot of work has gone into getting that food or water, or whatever, to the place where it sits on your table. Be grateful to all the people who have been involved in bringing your food to you. 

- Start your day with an attitude of thankfulness. In that quiet time we talked about in previous weeks, spend just a little time giving thanks to the Universe for the new day, for the blessings in your life. 

- Make a gratitude list. We've talked previously about the power of actually writing things down. Have a gratitude journal and at various times during the day just jot down the things you are feeling grateful for (or be a techno-whizz and have it on your phone, tablet, laptop or PC). It doesn't matter how you do it - the action of recording your gratefulness is exactly what is needed to give you that attitude of thankfulness. 

So there we have it - over the past couple of months I have outlined the principles by which I now lead my life - a life that is purpose-filled, driven and incredibly happy. 

I'm not special in this, in an way, shape or form - anyone (and that means YOU!) can have exactly what I now have, just by applying the six pillars of life to their particular lives.

I'll close today by summarizing those six pillars and reminding you that it doesn't take a massive change to turn your life around and to begin to experience the abundance and joy that is your BIRTHRIGHT! 

1. Life is SUPPOSED to be wonderful!
2. Attitude is EVERYTHING!
3. LOVE is the ultimate power of the Universe!
4. We must learn to live in the PRESENT!
5. Happiness is a CHOICE! 
6. Maintain an attitude of GRATITUDE!

You now have the foundations for turning your life around, no matter how difficult your current situation feels or is. 

There is still so, so much more that can be learnt about ourselves, our brains and about life in general. 

I would strongly urge you, if you are serious about rejecting the past way of doing things and embracing our brave, new, exciting world; that you find yourself a mentor or a self-help guru who can support you and guide you on your journey. 

As I've mentioned many times, there are a plethora of different styles and messages out there. I've mentioned also some of the people that I take the most notice of and you can certainly look at those as options, but one thing you should always remember is that although their styles and systems may vary, they ALL, every single one of them, have the same core philosophies about life and those are the core philosophies that I've called the "six pillars of life". 

For this reason, look less at their content and more at how they make you feel. If they excite you and resonate with you, then go for them. They are the ones you will learn the most from.

So, what now for us? I'll have to think about what to present to you next week now that my series on life is done with, but rest assured, I will be back. 

Perhaps I should write a book on my "six pillars of a purpose-driven life". Hmmmm......

Till next week...   

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE PRESENTS TO YOU AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! 

Have a great life and spread the love! 

 Changing the world – one reader at a time!  

Happy days: and welcome to this week's blog, where we look at what I call the fifth pillar of a successful, purpose-filled, and most importantly of all - A HAPPY LIFE! 

Happiness is such an ethereal word - hard to capture, hard to define and perhaps even harder to practice on a daily basis. I mean to say, how many times have you gotten out of bed in the morning dreading what the day had in store for you? Not at all surprisingly, on those particular days; guess what? The day presented you with all the misgivings that you thought it would.

Probably, without even realizing it, you created your own self-fulfilling prophecy - that's awesome! Why is it awesome to have a shitty day? Well, simply, if you can create for yourself the exact same shitty day that you thought lay in store for you - well newsflash people - you can turn that around one hundred and eighty degrees and create for yourself, the perfect, happy day.

Now before you start jumping up and down and thinking this man must be in some drug heightened nirvana to suggest that happiness is that simple; let me assure you that the only thing I am high on is - LIFE! Take it from one who knows, and one who spent most of his life in a self-induced coma of misery and self-pity - it really doesn't have to be that way. My own son would regularly refer to me as; "that grumpy old man". I haven't actually seen my son, in person, for four years now as we live in different countries, but I'm excited to see what he thinks of the changes in his "grumpy old man", when we finally do get back together (hopefully this coming Christmas). I'm hoping he'll be shocked, amazed and thrilled. 

My point - If I can embrace this life, then anyone can. 

It seems such a simple thing; choosing to be happy, and yet so many of us just don't understand what it is we should do to actually make that choice. Really and truly it isn't that difficult to make some small adjustments to your routine and your outlook to make your life happier and more fulfilled.

First of all start thinking about being happy - what is it that makes you happy? It's different for everyone, so what works for me to bring me to my "happy place", won't necessarily work for you. That's one of the beauties of our uniqueness; we all have our different perspectives on life and "Viva la difference!" It might be something as simple as sitting in the garden reading a good book, or walking on the beach in the moonlight with your partner, or skydiving or just about anything that puts you at peace; that puts you in that land where nothing can hurt you or upset you. As I intimated, I like to call that "my happy place". For me personally, it is actually sitting on a beach listening to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore. 

This "happy place" is incredibly important, because it is where you need to go when circumstances threaten to overwhelm you and send you spiraling down into the abyss of pity, sadness or misery. Whenever I feel stressed, upset, or about to lose my cool with someone, I mentally walk away - if possible I close my eyes and transport myself to "my happy place". I swear that a couple of minutes visualizing the scene that never fails to fill me with peace and happiness is almost always enough to avoid the looming confrontation, or the silly arguments that start inside my head. Rather than get upset, I CHOOSE to turn away and refresh myself with happiness. It's works...and the great thing is you can build up a bank of these happy experiences that you can call on at any time. You're only limited by your imagination.         

The second piece of practical advice I can give you on happiness is to stop trying to change the world, or others, all by yourself. Once we accept and fully understand that there is only one person in the world that we have any real control over - OURSELVES - then we can stop allowing other people's dramas and the sorry state of our society to destroy our happiness. I've mentioned in the past that I am a great believer in the "butterfly effect". In other words what we do to change ourselves individually, can collectively change the world. That's one of the reasons one of my tag-lines to this blog is; "Changing the world - one reader at a time." 

It's a really simple philosophy - if I can't actually change it myself, I won't let it influence my mood. If I can change it, then I'll do something about it. What springs to mind immediately as I write this is the prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr and adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous. It really is the smartest piece of advice you could ever take on board to lead a happy life:

                  "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
                  The courage to change the things I can; 
                   And the wisdom to know the difference."   

A very simple rule to live by and one that will grant you peace of mind.

My next tip is related to the previous one: Surround yourself with people that will uplift you, support you and fill you with pleasure. We all know how hard it is to be positive and happy when we are with someone who grumbles, moans and complains about everything. Very soon we find ourselves dragged down to their level, agreeing with them and sympathizing with their plight. This is a sure way to sabotage your happiness, so beware of such friends.

Similarly it is hard to be down, sad and miserable when our friends are full of joy, bubbly and expressive. We get dragged along with them on their exciting journey. I said last week that we, as individuals, emotionally are the average of our five closest friends; so chose those five closest friends wisely. 

Now, I'm not suggesting you jettison all your dear friends or relatives just because they can be a bit grumpy at times; but try and deal with their moods and attitudes differently. When they complain about something, look for the positive in that situation (there always is one - even if it might be hard to find sometimes) and point that out to them. If they need advice - then sure, advise them; if they need a shoulder to cry on - by all means provide that shoulder (that's what friends do); if they just need to talk, to get their problems off their chest - then absolutely just listen to them. 

BUT here is what NOT to do; do not take their problems, concerns and anger onto your shoulders. They are not your problems; you don't have to allow yourself to become emotionally involved in your friend's issues. You do what you need to do and then move on. Do not dwell on their problems and do not buy into their sadness and their pain. The absolute best thing you can do in that situation is to offer positive solutions - solutions just like these, that work for you.    

The final actual tip I want to give you today is a simple and easy step that I use and that takes so little time to implement and yet is so incredibly powerful to set you up for your day ahead. 

When you wake up in the morning; don't immediately jump out of bed, put on the coffee, prepare your things for work or school, or begin planning your day and imagining the difficult things you need to prepare for. When you wake up in the morning - don't do anything! 

Just lie there in bed, with your eyes closed, if need be, to stop your partner from kicking you out of bed and telling you to get the coffee brewing. Just lie there and for five, ten, or even fifteen minutes just picture your day the exact way you want it to go. Visualize that important meeting you have with a client. See the client shake hands and accept the deal; picture your teacher congratulating you on that great paper you submitted; see the table where you will sit and enjoy your lunch and coffee during your break; imagine the joy on your kid's faces when you walk into the house that evening. It doesn't matter what the day ahead holds for you - even if it is just a routine day, picture the little things; your co-worker complimenting you on your outfit; getting a good parking spot; finishing those letters you've been putting off. 

The whole point of this exercise is to "create" the day you desire for yourself - the day that will make you happy, content and at peace with everyone. In the last couple of minutes before you do leap into action; just visit your "happy place", revel in the memories of the moment. By the time you are ready to jump into the shower and begin this day, your mind will already be in the place it needs to be for this day to be successful, happy and purposeful. Do it every day and then every day your creations will occur. It's that simple.   

I want to finish today with one final thought: You don't need any other person's validation to be happy. Nothing anyone can say or think about you should ever make you either happy or unhappy. We are the architects of our own lives - not other people. Stop letting other people's opinions, words or actions rob you of your happiness! You are you and you stand alone, complete, and unique in yourself. You can be happy regardless of what others think of you.

I want to give you a really good example of what I mean here. This blog, that I lovingly compile every week is a perfect example. I have no idea how many people actually read it (I do know how many people visit my site, but I don't know how many actually stay and read anything). Now that should upset and worry me, under conventional thinking. I mean, what is the point of writing and sweating my thoughts onto paper, if nobody actually cares enough to want to read them. 

BUT truly it doesn't matter to me. I write this blog first and foremost because it is my passion - it's what makes me happy - It is one of my happy places that I love to visit. I don't need the validation of others to make this exercise worthwhile for me. Of course, I'm human and I love it when someone takes the time to tell me that I touched them, or I made a difference (and a couple have, which is amazing) but the bottom line is, if the only person that ever read this was me, I'd still be happy. I want to make a difference in my own small way; but my worth and my happiness is not dependent on the validation of other people, or their opinions of what I do. 


Why? 

BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! GIVE IT A TRY - IT'S AWESOME!  

Till next week

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE PRESENTS TO YOU AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! 

Have a great life and spread the love! 

 Changing the world – one reader at a time!