You know, sometimes we authors get so wrapped up in what we are doing, that we forget to strike a healthy balance between our activities. I took a look at my blog today and said; "ahhh, that's okay, I did one a couple of weeks ago." But then I looked closer and realised that most of my recent blogs have been on behalf of other people.
I do really love helping other Indie Authors with their promotions and blog tours, but it is so easy to have that as a fallback position and never get around to wring anything yourself. Today; I remedy that. 
It is hard to believe we are almost halfway through June. Where did the year go to? There's an old truism that goes something along the lines of "the older you get, the faster time moves." Well, I do believe Einstein was right. Time is relative! 
The last six months have been incredibly exciting, rewarding (although not overly financially rewarding) and productive for me.
So, today, I will ease myself back into the blogger's chair with a short potted history of the first six month's of this year.   

Exactly five years ago, around about this very time, 9.30 in the morning, I walked through the automatic doors at Ninoy Aquino International Airport in Manila and into the unknown.
Oh, it wasn't like I hadn't been to The Philippines before, I'd been here numerous times, although not for almost eleven years. Nope, it was the unknown for a very different reason. I had left my life in New Zealand behind; kissed my seventeen year old son and fourteen year old daughter and boarded a flight bound for Manila, with little possessions and bugger-all money, just a burning desire, at 51 years old, to try to rebuild a life that had been shattered by bad and calamitous decisions.
​Little did I know, as I took a deep breath at the top of the ramp that leads down to the waiting area what the next five years would hold in store for me. I was about to meet, in person, for the first time, some of the most important people in my brave, new,world; my future wife and two of her children. 

I was nervous, bloody nervous, if the truth be known, but I was also determined. I'd made a right cock-up of things up to that point and I figured it was about time to make something good happen in my life. Deep breath and walk; you can do this, Grant.
I knew I always had a fallback position, if things didn't work out, but that wasn't something I even wanted to contemplate, in my worst nightmares; running back to New Zealand with my tail between my legs and the expected taunts from family and friends; "told you so", "I always said it was a dumb idea Grant", and worst of all actually, the looks of sorrow and pity I would get from my nearest and dearest. No, I knew this was probably my last shot at happiness, at making something work in my life and I wasn't going to give it up without a fight.
I'd been friends with Thess for over four years, online, before I decided to take that ultimate step and come here. It had been something that had been brewing in my mind for a long time, but it was probably my 50th birthday that crystallised it and made me decide it wasn't just a good idea, it was essential. 
As we all do, probably, on these annual milestones I sat down and reviewed where the hell I was in my life. My son was about to head away to University and I would be left in a small town in southern New Zealand, essentially alone (my daughter having already gone to live with her mother in another City). If ever I was going to try something bold, exciting and new, now was the time. I was well aware of the relentlessly ticking clock and figured this might be my one and only shot left, at making something happen. I decided right there and then that come hell or high water, I was going to give this a good crack. 

So, there I was, standing on the apron of the waiting area at Ninoy Aquino Airport, surrounded by bustling people, yet somehow all alone. I knew Thess was around somewhere as I'd had a text from her earlier in the baggage collection area, but I couldn't see her and as the minutes ticked by, I began to worry, began to wonder. Shit, this wasn't how it was supposed to be; this wasn't how I'd imagined our meeting, a million times in my dreams and fantasies.
"Hi! Finally!" 
I turned toward the voice and although it sounds cliched, my mouth dropped open and I felt my eyes begin to water. There she was, my internet friend, my soon to be lover, my future wife; she was even more beautiful and more stunning in reality than any picture or cam could ever do her justice. I had long wondered if our first meeting would prove to be awkward, uncomfortable and filled with long, pregnant silences. I need not have worried. She dropped the hands of the two young girls she was with and literally flung herself into my arms, kissing me intensely and with more passion than I had ever thought possible.
Oblivious to the people bustling all around us, we clung to each other like two castaways who had spent years alone on opposite sides of the same island and had finally, somehow, discovered each other. Nothing and nobody existed in those few moments except two love-starved people seeking the long awaited succour from each other.    

We've discussed this moment since and we are both of the same opinion. It was in that split second when we finally found each other, that March morning five years ago that we knew we had found our life partners. For me, I felt a surge of joy and utter contentment, a feeling that had been sadly lacking from my life for so long. I knew, intuitively, I had found my soul-mate and everything was going to be forever changed from that point on. 
The last five years have thrown us many challenges, but we're still answering them and dealing with them. There are only two certainties in life, they say; death and taxes. Well, for me, there are three. Death, taxes and the love we both share. Whatever the trials and tribulations that may come our way now and in the future, we will face them together, until there is only one of us left. That is the certainty for me.
So much has changed in our lives over the five years but one thing I know without a shadow of a doubt, is that I am a much better person than the lost, lonely, 51 year old BOY, who walked off that plane and into the arms of the most amazing woman I have ever been privileged enough to meet...let alone love. I am now a full-time author and I have only one person to thank for steering me onto my true path in life and that is her; my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my wife and my other half. Thank you darling for finding me and saving me from myself.

​​MARAMING, MARAMING, SALAMAT PO!

So, here I am, five years on and has it been a brave, new, world that we've created for ourselves? Well, we're still working bloody hard on creating our brave new world, but I'll tell you something for nothing; It's a wonderful, happy, vibrant, new world I now live in. It's not easy, in fact, at times it's damn hard, but it is MY and THESS' WONDERFUL NEW WORLD and we wouldn't change it for anything. 
I have a picture of two of my biggest critics and detractors over the years; but also my two biggest supporters in this life, my wonderful parents, taped to the wall above the computer. They're both, sadly, gone now, but every so often I look up at their smiling faces, wink and say; "Well Mum, I got this one right!" I swear I can almost hear her voice whispering back; "Finally, Grant, finally...yes you did!" 

Till next time, have a wonderful, peace-filled day! 

Christmas this past year was tinged with a touch of sadness at the passing of my father.

Now, Dad was 90, so he'd had a pretty good run and even up to the time of his death was enjoying a reasonable standard of health, given his age, so although his passing saddened me, I was comforted by the thought that he'd "had a good innings", as they say. I was also warmed by the fact he would now be reunited with my mother, his wife of over 60 years, who passed away almost six years ago now.

When I received the news of Dad's death, I was actually on holiday in a tiny village in the rural backwaters of Occidental Mindoro, The Philippines, called Rizal (my wife's home-town). Unfortunately, given the timing and a few other reasons I was unable to attend the funeral service, in Dunedin, New Zealand, for Dad, held just after Christmas.

I know had I been able to attend, there were a few things I would have liked to have said to him, before we said goodbye, so today I want to dedicate this blog to my father; Andrew Aitken Fleming Leishman, and express some of the sentiments I might have told him, had I been able to.    

Now Dad, was a product of his generation. He grew up in the tough times of the Great Depression and, as a teenager, he had watched from afar as the world went to war in that bloody conflict called World War II. He had known austerity and poverty and, it seemed to me,his one determination in life was to ensure that his family never had to suffer through some of the privations he had to. I am sure that it was this grounding (plus of course his Scottish heritage) that made him the man he was.

Dad's life pretty much revolved around work and his family. His sole concession to an outside interest was his involvement in the United Ancient Order of Druids, in which he rose through the ranks to become Grand President.

In later years he played bowls and the Caledonian Bowling Club became a large part of his routine, where he would become firstly President of the Club and later be awarded the special honours of Life Membership and Patron.  

He was a humble, quiet man who generally kept his own counsel and it was only in his latter years that I realized he did actually have strong opinions on issues and was prepared to articulate them.

For myself, the best memories I have of my father are those of caregiver. When Mum decided to return to her nursing career, after four children, it was Dad who stepped into the breach as caregiver during the weekends. Mum's work was usually Friday, Saturday and Sunday late afternoon and evenings, so it was left to Dad to look after my little sister and myself; my two older siblings generally being able to look after themselves. It was in this role that I was most grateful and thankful for Dad's attention and care.    

It was during this time that the Saturday morning library ritual was begun. Every Saturday morning Dad, my little sister and I would head for the Dunedin Public Library, where we would spend some of the happiest hours of my childhood just sitting, reading and deciding what exciting tales to take home for that week's enjoyment. It was here I got my love of books and it was here I discovered the true power and joy of words. I owe my father so much for introducing me to this wonderful world of books, at such an early age.

Sunday afternoons were also a special time for my sister and I, when Dad would take us for our Sunday outing. Just about every week, rain or shine, we would pile into the car and depending on the weather, we would head off for one of our venues. If the weather was kind, then the destination would invariably be the Botanic Gardens, but if the weather was a bit lousy (and this was Dunedin after all), the destination would be either the Public Art Gallery, the Dunedin Museum or the Early Settlers Museum. The highlight of our Sunday outing was always the obligatory ice-cream on the way home - something we looked forward to with real excitement each week.

Looking back now, as kids growing up in the 60's and early 70's, we had plenty of fun things we could be doing with our friends and sometimes we resented having to traipse around the Art Gallery or the Museum on a Sunday afternoon, but with the benefit of hindsight, I am so glad Dad took the time to share his time and interests with us. I have no doubt it was this that awakened my passion for history, anthropology and most importantly of all, before the internet age, gave me an enquiring mind, Thank you for that Dad!     

Dad worked for many years (46 I think) doing a factory job that he didn't particularly enjoy. I once queried him as to why he stayed at this job when he didn't really enjoy it. To my youthful mind it seemed a bit silly. His answer was enlightening as to the character of this man. He told me that with a young family to feed and clothe, security mattered more than anything to him and his job gave him that security.

Dad was a highly intelligent man, one of the smartest people I've ever known actually and I have no doubt he could have done anything he'd turned his mind to, if he'd wanted to. But he made the decision, very early on, that family was the most important thing to him and security of that family was paramount, so he'd stay where he was. I respect him so much for that. 

Both Dad and Mum showed us children what being in a relationship was all about (not that we always listened). They stayed together for life, through the hardships, the trials as well as the good times and they showed, by example, how to make a marriage work and work well. You were both great role models and its just a shame we didn't always take note, That's all you can do though, point the way and hope we follow and you both did that magnificently.

More than anything, this man showed his true mettle when placed under extremely trying circumstances. Anyone who knows me, knows that in my sometimes turbulent and torrid life, I have done some things that would make many parents just "disown" their children. 

Dad and Mum, despite everything I threw at them over the years, were always the very first people to come running to help me when I needed it. They forgave when forgiveness was neither deserved nor warranted. They supported me through some incredibly tough times and they both showed a heart for their family and a love for their children that places them at the very top of the tree. That's what makes Dad so special and that's what makes him a hero in my eyes.

I am sure that those last few, lonely, years after Mum's passing were much more tolerable for him with the regular visits of his children, grand-children, and even great grand-children. Sadly, for me, the last time I saw him was when I left for The Philippines, almost five years ago.

I will never forget the last farewell; when he hugged me (I can;t remember him ever doing that before) and with his voice breaking slightly, he grumbled in my ear "keep in touch". For Dad that was a rare show of emotion and one I'll treasure forever.

I will finish this little reminisce down memory lane, with my Dad, by telling you about the last telephone call I had with him. 

I was feeling pretty excited about it and just a little bit too proud also. I had just had my first book published and I knew Dad had had a copy for a couple of months, so I was excited to hear his reaction to it and was looking for that fawning affirmation of praise. I would be disappointed. 

​"So," I said; "did you read my book?" 

There was a moment of silence before his gravelly voice replied; 

"Ahhhh....well, I did read the first chapter...but...you know, it wasn't really my cup of tea." 

Deflated was I! But that was Dad. He didn't leave you in any doubt what he thought and he did try to soften the blow with his afterthought. 

"It's hard to read in here anyway....and my eyesight's not what it used to be. It would make a great movie!" 

Thanks Dad and thanks for a life well spent, in the service of your family. 

Rest well! No doubt you've been busy catching up with five years of gossip from Mum.

We never say this enough in our lives but better late than never; "I love you Dad. Thanks for everything!"

 Till next week, have a wonderful, peace-filled day! ​

I was looking back over my last few month's blogs and I came to the realisation that my thinking and my blogging was becoming very narrow and very focused on just one area of my life - writing!

Now, that's fine, in itself; I am an author after all, so it is natural that books take up so much of my every day, whether reading them, reviewing them, writing them, or that other time-consuming task of trying to sell them. What gave me pause for thought though was the underlying core beliefs that I was talking about in my earlier blogs of 2015; the things that truly make us tick as human beings. Was I losing sight of those things?
At the end of 2015, when we departed for our brief Christmas vacation in Mindoro, I was feeling tired, worn out and just a tad stressed. It occurred to me that this was not the way I should be feeling. If I followed and lived by the precepts that I had been preaching earlier in the year, I should feel fulfilled, renewed and joyful.
With that in mind I decided to take the first blog of 2016 and remind myself why those fundamental, core, beliefs are important to me physically, mentally and spiritually.
In the spirit of the New Year it is time for some rebirth and renewal.

Let's just pause, for a few moments, before we rush headlong into all the projects we have planned for this year and remind ourselves what we are trying to achieve.

What is the number one goal of my life? Indeed what should be the number one goal of everyone's life?

TO BE HAPPY!

I therefore have to ask myself; am I doing the necessary things to make myself happy? As I became more and more focused on getting books into the market-place and promoting them, the answer to that question had, by the end of 2015, become...nah! Not so much!
So, back to fundamentals. What is happiness? How do we achieve it and how do we hold onto it? 
Happiness, contrary to popular belief, is NEVER the result of external circumstances. We can not rely on the outside world to make us happy. We've all said things like: "Oh, I'll be happy when I've paid off this mortgage; or "I'll be happy when the kids graduate College"; or that old chestnut, "I'll be happy when I find the right partner." That is all a crock people. The outside world will never bring you happiness.
Happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a CHOICE and it is a choice we have to make every single day. We have to choose to be happy, in spite of our external circumstances, not because of them.
OK, fair point! I had rather lost sight of that precept. You see, I had found my "bliss", I was a full-time author, so I naturally presumed that the happiness would be a long-term part of fulfilling my dream and following my bliss.
This is the fallacy that has unwittingly trapped me, so my number one goal for 2016 has to be to make that choice, every single day, to be happy. Unless I do that, I will slowly, but surely allow the circumstances of the outside world to erode my own personal happiness.

Allied to making the choice to be happy is the second re-commitment I will make to myself in 2016. That is; TO MAKE TIME FOR MYSELF!
Following your dreams and doing what you love is wonderful, make no mistake about it. I love and I live, to write, but like any job it should not be all-consuming. It should not occupy every waking second (and many of my sleeping seconds) of my day.
Yes, I have to make the time to switch off from Grant, the Author and just become boring, old, Grant, the man (or as my son so lovingly puts it Grant - the silly, old, fart)..
I, like millions of self-help gurus and indeed common sense, know the absolute best time to centre yourself, to make that choice to be happy, and to mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare yourself for the day ahead, is the first twenty or so minutes after you wake up.
I need to make the commitment to give myself that time to prepare for the day. It is too easy, especially if you are excited about what you will be doing that day, to jump out of bed, grab the coffee and get the new day rocking and rolling. What I would suggest is just spending a few minutes, every morning, thinking about the things you are grateful for and the things that make you happy. I can guarantee, by the time you do roll down to the table for your coffee, your state of mind will be positive, upbeat, and perhaps more importantly, you will be in a wonderful mood for your partner and/or children.
In exactly the same vein, I need to practice (yes practice) relaxation, especially in the evenings. Relaxation is not always something that comes naturally to all of us. Some of us, especially writers, find it incredibly difficult to turn off. We always have some new plot idea, character arc, or wonderful, new story churning around in our minds. My suggestion to you, and to me, is to do something totally unrelated to your "day job" that makes you happy; be it watching mindless dross on TV, playing a video game, sitting out in the garden with a glass of wine, or even a spot of meditation. It doesn't matter, just remove yourself and your mind from the day to day travails and activities.
​So. my number two commitment is to make more time for myself.

My final commitment to myself this 2016 is to be there more for my wife and children; TO MAKE TIME FOR MY FAMILY! You know how it is, your wife/husband/partner, or your daughter/son/whoever, wants to tell you something that happened that day, or something they've been pondering over, or just something they saw on the news, and what do you do? 
Oh sure, you half-listen, and you nod appropriately at the right points or mutter "oh dear" or "well done", whatever seems right. Yet, at the same time, you're glancing at the TV screen, or reading a little more of the article, book, blog, that you happened to be on at the time. Possibly, you're thinking about the words you wrote that day, or that problems at work. We've all done it and we've all excused ourselves for doing it. "Oh, I have so much on my mind".
Newsflash peoples! Your family is more important than your work or your current preoccupation. I am certainly guilty of this and no; saying "oh, I'm just multi-tasking", is not an acceptable answer, for me. The reality, for me anyway is, my family are the number one thing I am most grateful for and as such deserve and command my utmost attention.
So, for them I will make that extra effort to make more time for them.     

So, there we have it; the three things I will work on this year to ensure that when 2016 comes to an end I will not be a worn-out husk of a writer with no passion and joy left.
For me, the key to achieving this is one word - DELIBERATE!

I must DELIBERATELY choose to be happy every day.

I must DELIBERATELY choose to make that extra time for myself each day. 

I must DELIBERATELY choose to make more time for my family. 

Nothing in this world happens by chance. We made the choices yesterday that determined where we are today and we make the choices today that will determine where we are tomorrow.

I leave you with this one thought:

​Whatever else you do, choose to be in control of you! Don't let outside forces determine who you are and where you are going. You are a unique, wonderful, human being and you are in control of your own destiny.

Till next week, have a wonderful, peace-filled day! 

So, we have reached the sixth and final pillar in our journey of self-discovery and  our search for a happy and purpose-filled life. I hope what we have covered has been as much use to you in reaching that place you want to be, as it has been for me. Today we unwrap the final foundation stone - and that is GRATITUDE!

Why is gratitude so important in helping us to achieve our goals?

One thing you will find often in the world of self-improvement is a never-ending trail of "trite little sayings" or "cliched expressions". You should never necessarily reject something just because it is cliched. There is a reason that cliches gain ascendancy and that is because at their core they hold a vital kernel of truth. 

One particular expression that absolutely resonates from me comes from the motivational speaker Lisa Nichols. She says; "Gratitude is the rich soil in which our future grows." There is so much truth in that simple statement. The way we think, speak and act today, directly impacts on where we will be tomorrow. We've seen right throughout this series, that one of the biggest keys to life is to live in the PRESENT. It is how we live in the present that determines what our tomorrow will be and gratitude is an absolutely vital component of that process.

So, simply put, gratitude is the oil that makes the engines of abundance flow freely. It is a word that you will come across in every single self-help book you ever read. 

We all like to think we are grateful most of the time, but when you actually analyse your own behaviors you will quickly realize just what ungrateful little beggars we really are. I know I certainly did. 

Gratitude has a power that absolutely defies belief. In Rhonda Byrne's book "The Power" she quotes 13th Century German philosopher and mystic, Meister Eckhart little gem, that sums it up perfectly. "If the only prayer you ever utter in your entire life is; 'Thank You', then that will suffice". 

What we need to do is to develop an automatic attitude of gratitude and in order to do that we probably need to make a few, minor adjustments in our lifestyle and the way in which we view the world. I said earlier that most of us believe we are inherently grateful human beings, but the reality of the situation is that we are not. Most of us spend way more time complaining, whining, and criticizing than we ever do feeling grateful and satisfied with our situation. 

You can not portray an attitude of gratitude if you continue to hold onto your old ways of thinking. A good example of this is the common expressions we often use or hear others using: "I'll be so grateful when the kids finally graduate; I'll be grateful when we have enough money to pay the monthly bills; I'll be eternally grateful, if you just do this one little thing for me; or I will be thankful when..." The reality is we have to be grateful and thankful for what we have now, today. 

If I was to ask you who was the greatest scientific mind in history, there might be some arguments. Perhaps some people would argue for Michelangelo; after all he was both artistic and scientific, or perhaps Newton, or maybe even Steven Hawking might get a look in, but I'm betting the majority of us would plump for Albert Einstein as the creme-de-la-creme of scientific minds. 

Now Einstein was an interesting character. When he was asked to what he owed his incredible genius; he merely shrugged and acknowledged his faith in gratitude. He replied that every single day he said "thank you" to the collective brains of the men and women that preceded him in the field of Physics. He didn't just say "thank you" once or twice though - he said it over one hundred times per day. Can you imagine such gratitude? Is it any wonder, therefore, that the Universe saw fit to reveal so many of its secrets to Albert Einstein. 

Like Sir Isaac Newton before him, here was a man, who humbly admitted that his achievements were made solely by standing on the shoulders of the giants who went before him. What an amazing attitude!

I know a very common trait at about this time is for some people to throw their hands up in disgust and exclaim; "what have I got to be thankful for? My life sucks!" My simple answer to that would be that if it sucks, it sucks because of your negative thoughts, words and attitudes that you have embraced in the past - changing those now (today) will change your future, but it runs even deeper than that. 

I want to give you an example of one Helen Keller. Now Helen, at age 19 months, contracted an illness that left her deaf and therefore effectively speechless, as she had not had time to learn much language by that stage. If that wasn't enough of life's little hurdles for her to clamber over; she was also struck blind, by the illness. 

Those of us that know Helen's story know that she rose from being considered by many to be a burden; a waste of space and time, to become the first deaf/blind person to gain a University degree, to become a writer, a political activist, and a teacher who would go on to influence and change the lives of so many people, both disabled and able-bodied during her 87 years on this planet. 

Did Helen Keller's life suck? By any standards we might apply to our own live's sucking - then certainly it did! 

Did she let that affect her and stop her? No, she did not. Helen Keller was grateful for what she did have - in the same way that we have to be grateful for the things that we have. 

I don't care how bad the circumstances are in your life - there is ALWAYS something you can be grateful for. Every morning you can be grateful for a new day, a new opportunity to breathe, to walk, to talk and to exist. We take for granted so many of the wonderful experiences and things that we as human beings are blessed to enjoy and be grateful for every, single day - open your senses and enjoy the world around you and be grateful for the opportunity.    

OK, so how about some practical steps in adopting the "attitude of gratitude". 

- Say "thank you" at every single opportunity that arises - and don't just say it as a matter of course; because that's what your parents taught you to do. Actually mean it - be grateful for whatever that person has done for you. Even if you are paying for something, that doesn't lessen the effort that person put into bringing it to you - be grateful and thankful.

- Start saying "thank you" every time you sit down to eat or drink. A lot of work has gone into getting that food or water, or whatever, to the place where it sits on your table. Be grateful to all the people who have been involved in bringing your food to you. 

- Start your day with an attitude of thankfulness. In that quiet time we talked about in previous weeks, spend just a little time giving thanks to the Universe for the new day, for the blessings in your life. 

- Make a gratitude list. We've talked previously about the power of actually writing things down. Have a gratitude journal and at various times during the day just jot down the things you are feeling grateful for (or be a techno-whizz and have it on your phone, tablet, laptop or PC). It doesn't matter how you do it - the action of recording your gratefulness is exactly what is needed to give you that attitude of thankfulness. 

So there we have it - over the past couple of months I have outlined the principles by which I now lead my life - a life that is purpose-filled, driven and incredibly happy. 

I'm not special in this, in an way, shape or form - anyone (and that means YOU!) can have exactly what I now have, just by applying the six pillars of life to their particular lives.

I'll close today by summarizing those six pillars and reminding you that it doesn't take a massive change to turn your life around and to begin to experience the abundance and joy that is your BIRTHRIGHT! 

1. Life is SUPPOSED to be wonderful!
2. Attitude is EVERYTHING!
3. LOVE is the ultimate power of the Universe!
4. We must learn to live in the PRESENT!
5. Happiness is a CHOICE! 
6. Maintain an attitude of GRATITUDE!

You now have the foundations for turning your life around, no matter how difficult your current situation feels or is. 

There is still so, so much more that can be learnt about ourselves, our brains and about life in general. 

I would strongly urge you, if you are serious about rejecting the past way of doing things and embracing our brave, new, exciting world; that you find yourself a mentor or a self-help guru who can support you and guide you on your journey. 

As I've mentioned many times, there are a plethora of different styles and messages out there. I've mentioned also some of the people that I take the most notice of and you can certainly look at those as options, but one thing you should always remember is that although their styles and systems may vary, they ALL, every single one of them, have the same core philosophies about life and those are the core philosophies that I've called the "six pillars of life". 

For this reason, look less at their content and more at how they make you feel. If they excite you and resonate with you, then go for them. They are the ones you will learn the most from.

So, what now for us? I'll have to think about what to present to you next week now that my series on life is done with, but rest assured, I will be back. 

Perhaps I should write a book on my "six pillars of a purpose-driven life". Hmmmm......

Till next week...   

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE PRESENTS TO YOU AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! 

Have a great life and spread the love! 

 Changing the world – one reader at a time!  

Happy days: and welcome to this week's blog, where we look at what I call the fifth pillar of a successful, purpose-filled, and most importantly of all - A HAPPY LIFE! 

Happiness is such an ethereal word - hard to capture, hard to define and perhaps even harder to practice on a daily basis. I mean to say, how many times have you gotten out of bed in the morning dreading what the day had in store for you? Not at all surprisingly, on those particular days; guess what? The day presented you with all the misgivings that you thought it would.

Probably, without even realizing it, you created your own self-fulfilling prophecy - that's awesome! Why is it awesome to have a shitty day? Well, simply, if you can create for yourself the exact same shitty day that you thought lay in store for you - well newsflash people - you can turn that around one hundred and eighty degrees and create for yourself, the perfect, happy day.

Now before you start jumping up and down and thinking this man must be in some drug heightened nirvana to suggest that happiness is that simple; let me assure you that the only thing I am high on is - LIFE! Take it from one who knows, and one who spent most of his life in a self-induced coma of misery and self-pity - it really doesn't have to be that way. My own son would regularly refer to me as; "that grumpy old man". I haven't actually seen my son, in person, for four years now as we live in different countries, but I'm excited to see what he thinks of the changes in his "grumpy old man", when we finally do get back together (hopefully this coming Christmas). I'm hoping he'll be shocked, amazed and thrilled. 

My point - If I can embrace this life, then anyone can. 

It seems such a simple thing; choosing to be happy, and yet so many of us just don't understand what it is we should do to actually make that choice. Really and truly it isn't that difficult to make some small adjustments to your routine and your outlook to make your life happier and more fulfilled.

First of all start thinking about being happy - what is it that makes you happy? It's different for everyone, so what works for me to bring me to my "happy place", won't necessarily work for you. That's one of the beauties of our uniqueness; we all have our different perspectives on life and "Viva la difference!" It might be something as simple as sitting in the garden reading a good book, or walking on the beach in the moonlight with your partner, or skydiving or just about anything that puts you at peace; that puts you in that land where nothing can hurt you or upset you. As I intimated, I like to call that "my happy place". For me personally, it is actually sitting on a beach listening to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore. 

This "happy place" is incredibly important, because it is where you need to go when circumstances threaten to overwhelm you and send you spiraling down into the abyss of pity, sadness or misery. Whenever I feel stressed, upset, or about to lose my cool with someone, I mentally walk away - if possible I close my eyes and transport myself to "my happy place". I swear that a couple of minutes visualizing the scene that never fails to fill me with peace and happiness is almost always enough to avoid the looming confrontation, or the silly arguments that start inside my head. Rather than get upset, I CHOOSE to turn away and refresh myself with happiness. It's works...and the great thing is you can build up a bank of these happy experiences that you can call on at any time. You're only limited by your imagination.         

The second piece of practical advice I can give you on happiness is to stop trying to change the world, or others, all by yourself. Once we accept and fully understand that there is only one person in the world that we have any real control over - OURSELVES - then we can stop allowing other people's dramas and the sorry state of our society to destroy our happiness. I've mentioned in the past that I am a great believer in the "butterfly effect". In other words what we do to change ourselves individually, can collectively change the world. That's one of the reasons one of my tag-lines to this blog is; "Changing the world - one reader at a time." 

It's a really simple philosophy - if I can't actually change it myself, I won't let it influence my mood. If I can change it, then I'll do something about it. What springs to mind immediately as I write this is the prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr and adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous. It really is the smartest piece of advice you could ever take on board to lead a happy life:

                  "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
                  The courage to change the things I can; 
                   And the wisdom to know the difference."   

A very simple rule to live by and one that will grant you peace of mind.

My next tip is related to the previous one: Surround yourself with people that will uplift you, support you and fill you with pleasure. We all know how hard it is to be positive and happy when we are with someone who grumbles, moans and complains about everything. Very soon we find ourselves dragged down to their level, agreeing with them and sympathizing with their plight. This is a sure way to sabotage your happiness, so beware of such friends.

Similarly it is hard to be down, sad and miserable when our friends are full of joy, bubbly and expressive. We get dragged along with them on their exciting journey. I said last week that we, as individuals, emotionally are the average of our five closest friends; so chose those five closest friends wisely. 

Now, I'm not suggesting you jettison all your dear friends or relatives just because they can be a bit grumpy at times; but try and deal with their moods and attitudes differently. When they complain about something, look for the positive in that situation (there always is one - even if it might be hard to find sometimes) and point that out to them. If they need advice - then sure, advise them; if they need a shoulder to cry on - by all means provide that shoulder (that's what friends do); if they just need to talk, to get their problems off their chest - then absolutely just listen to them. 

BUT here is what NOT to do; do not take their problems, concerns and anger onto your shoulders. They are not your problems; you don't have to allow yourself to become emotionally involved in your friend's issues. You do what you need to do and then move on. Do not dwell on their problems and do not buy into their sadness and their pain. The absolute best thing you can do in that situation is to offer positive solutions - solutions just like these, that work for you.    

The final actual tip I want to give you today is a simple and easy step that I use and that takes so little time to implement and yet is so incredibly powerful to set you up for your day ahead. 

When you wake up in the morning; don't immediately jump out of bed, put on the coffee, prepare your things for work or school, or begin planning your day and imagining the difficult things you need to prepare for. When you wake up in the morning - don't do anything! 

Just lie there in bed, with your eyes closed, if need be, to stop your partner from kicking you out of bed and telling you to get the coffee brewing. Just lie there and for five, ten, or even fifteen minutes just picture your day the exact way you want it to go. Visualize that important meeting you have with a client. See the client shake hands and accept the deal; picture your teacher congratulating you on that great paper you submitted; see the table where you will sit and enjoy your lunch and coffee during your break; imagine the joy on your kid's faces when you walk into the house that evening. It doesn't matter what the day ahead holds for you - even if it is just a routine day, picture the little things; your co-worker complimenting you on your outfit; getting a good parking spot; finishing those letters you've been putting off. 

The whole point of this exercise is to "create" the day you desire for yourself - the day that will make you happy, content and at peace with everyone. In the last couple of minutes before you do leap into action; just visit your "happy place", revel in the memories of the moment. By the time you are ready to jump into the shower and begin this day, your mind will already be in the place it needs to be for this day to be successful, happy and purposeful. Do it every day and then every day your creations will occur. It's that simple.   

I want to finish today with one final thought: You don't need any other person's validation to be happy. Nothing anyone can say or think about you should ever make you either happy or unhappy. We are the architects of our own lives - not other people. Stop letting other people's opinions, words or actions rob you of your happiness! You are you and you stand alone, complete, and unique in yourself. You can be happy regardless of what others think of you.

I want to give you a really good example of what I mean here. This blog, that I lovingly compile every week is a perfect example. I have no idea how many people actually read it (I do know how many people visit my site, but I don't know how many actually stay and read anything). Now that should upset and worry me, under conventional thinking. I mean, what is the point of writing and sweating my thoughts onto paper, if nobody actually cares enough to want to read them. 

BUT truly it doesn't matter to me. I write this blog first and foremost because it is my passion - it's what makes me happy - It is one of my happy places that I love to visit. I don't need the validation of others to make this exercise worthwhile for me. Of course, I'm human and I love it when someone takes the time to tell me that I touched them, or I made a difference (and a couple have, which is amazing) but the bottom line is, if the only person that ever read this was me, I'd still be happy. I want to make a difference in my own small way; but my worth and my happiness is not dependent on the validation of other people, or their opinions of what I do. 


Why? 

BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! GIVE IT A TRY - IT'S AWESOME!  

Till next week

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE PRESENTS TO YOU AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! 

Have a great life and spread the love! 

 Changing the world – one reader at a time!  

Welcome back to my weekly blog. 

Today, we return to a deeper investigation of the six pillars that make up a meaningful, complete and most importantly of all - a happy life. Remember my premise right at the start because it is key to living the life you were totally born to live. "You are meant to have an amazing life!" It's that simple - you really are meant to have an amazing life, and hopefully by adopting some of the strategies I've been suggesting, you can begin to do exactly that. 

The fourth important factor that limits us from being the best we can possibly be is; fear, doubt, anxiety, and worry. These emotions effectively rob us of so many of the wonderful opportunities that are presented to us every single day. We spend hours of our precious time on this planet worrying about things that are outside of our control; that we can do absolutely nothing about anyway; so much so that we forget, or miss the chances to experience the things that can bring us the joy and the happiness that every one of us so richly deserves. The key is to live in the PRESENT!

Now, I've written a number of blogs in the past about these particular emotions, but they are that critical to us living the life we deserve that they warrant a recap. I cannot stress enough just how debilitating and soul-destroying worry and fear can be. There are so many people who are literally paralyzed by fear or anxiety and consequently they are selling themselves short of the joy, the sense of achievement, and the thrill of trying something new.   

I believe the very title of this blog today sums up one of the most important thing that we need to get into our heads, as human beings; "There Is No Tomorrow!" To put it as simply as I can; tomorrow just does not exist - it has not been created yet. What tomorrow holds is an exact reflection of what we do, how we react and how we live our lives TODAY! All the gurus say we have to live more in the present; but what exactly does that mean? 

To me, it simply means that we must focus everyday on the things that are happening right now. How we live our life today will, with an absolute certainty reflect back on how our lives unfold, when tomorrow is finally created. 

Exactly the same thing applies to yesterday. Yesterday is gone, buried, and dealt with. Nothing we did yesterday can be changed or undone. The ONLY thing that we have any control over at all is how we behave, and what we do today. This is what "living in the present" really means. It is about letting go of any disappointments, arguments, problems, mistakes or conflicts that occurred yesterday and ensuring that what we do today will not result in those same results. 

Similarly, forget about what tomorrow may or may not bring - remember tomorrow is the sum of what you do and achieve today; so by focusing on this very moment, you are creating your own tomorrow. You are in control - you are the creator; but only if you live in the present; the here and now. 

So, how does this relate to and counter our fears, our anxieties, our doubts and our worries. 

I get it - we live in a seemingly dangerous, confusing, fast-paced, constantly changing, and at times quite frightening and bewildering world. It is very easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant stream of negativity that we are exposed to on a daily basis. 

How do we stop ourselves from worrying?

Let's address first of all our concerns and worries about what happened yesterday. When I say yesterday, I actually mean every yesterday, that ever there was, in your life. I know for so many people, they have this tendency to dwell in the past - to self-flagellate themselves about their perceived mistakes and the failures that they feel they had made before. So often this fear of repeating the same mistakes, facing the same humiliation, and feeling like a failure, absolutely stops them from ever trying anything new again. They have dreams, they have plans, they have great ideas; but always it is easier to remain in their "comfort zone" and avoid the possibility of failure.

What you think of as being YOUR fear of failure, is in fact not you at all. It is an insane little creature that lives inside your head called your ego. When you think that you are busily telling yourself that you are a loser, that you can't possibly do that cool thing you really want to, or implement that brilliant idea that you came up with; remember that is not the real YOU talking, it is your ego!

Failure is not to be feared - failure is a good thing because it is the very FIRST step on the road to success. People who avoid failure at all costs, also avoid success, and achieve mediocrity, at best. If you want to achieve and be the greatest you that you can possibly be; the fear of failure must not be your watchword - what you have to do is to actually make a start, and then persist. 

What if you push your fear away and try something new; but you don't initially succeed? Will the world end? Will the sun still rise tomorrow? Actually, two wonderful things will have happened to you.

• You will feel immense pride in yourself for having tried something new that you've always wanted to try. Perhaps for the very first time you will have given some new idea, endeavor or adventure your absolute best effort and there is immense satisfaction to be had in that. This is where you get your true growth, as a person, from. This is where you get to fall in love with yourself (which is critical to your ultimate success); and 

• You are now experienced at whatever you tried. Sure you made mistakes, and maybe even some poor decisions, but you can use those as building blocks for the next time. You will not make those same mistakes again.

Very few people get it "right" first time - but here's the rub; if you don't participate in the race, you sure as hell can't win it. You want to do all these things; whatever they are. They are the things that give you passion, joy, excitement and achievement - and it is your right to do them; but if you don't even try because you are paralyzed by memories of past failures, you have condemned yourself to nothing more than mere existing. 

Let go of the past and embrace the "now".

People often say to me; "how can I not worry about the future?" They will mention things like; the world is such a frightening place; what with crime, terrorism, sexual predators, job insecurity, the economy, and on and on - the future is just such an enormous unknown that's it's impossible not to worry about it and...what about the world our children will inherit? It's such a worry.

My answer is always the same; "There is no tomorrow!" This great unknown that so many of us are so frightened of, is out there somewhere - in the future; but the future has yet to be created. You are the only person who actually can create your future and more importantly, the ONLY thing that you personally can control is YOU. If you want to ensure your future has all the things that you dream of and aspire to; then what you do today and how you live today will create that future. There is only today.      

If you spend all your time worrying about and focusing on all the bad things that might, just possibly happen in the future, then guess what - that's exactly what you future will hold. You will have attracted to yourself the people, circumstance and conditions that you focused on today. You will force the Universe to deliver to you the very things you desire to avoid - How nonsensical would that be? 

I read an interesting comment the other day that may or may not be true, but for me it does have the ring of common sense about it. "Only 8% of the things we were worrying about this time last year, actually came to pass". So why are we spending all our time worrying about that eight percent. 

I'm not suggesting you don't plan for the future; that you don't set goals for the future; or that you live for today, at the expense of the future. That would be just as silly as actually worrying about the future. Set those goals, have those dreams, and aspire to that greatness; BUT remember, unless you actually do something about it today, they can never come true.

I have a couple of extremely effective and practical ways of combating our natural fear of the unknown. 

First and foremost; try to make a deliberate effort to cut down on all the negative, scary diet of news that we are constantly bombarded with every single day. I actually cut all media from my life for an entire month and I was literally stunned at the positive effect it had on my day, on my demeanor, on my attitude, and just on my general temperament. We tend to think we're just keeping up with the news; but what we really are doing is passively feeding our fears, our anxieties and that voracious little ego inside our head that wants to scare us silly into doing nothing. 

Find something else, positive to do in those times you would normally watch the news, read the paper or surf the websites - How about writing down a list of the things you plan to achieve this year and making an actual start on one or two of them? Now there's an idea! 

You are not going to make your future what you want it to be by sitting on the couch being bombarded by negativity every day. You don't have to be as extreme as I was, but just removing some negativity will result in a surprisingly positively enhanced day. Give it a try - what have you got to lose?

My second suggestion will no doubt have many of you up in arms, but it is equally as important, if not more so than my first. Surround yourself with a circle of friends who are positive and supportive and are seeking the same path as you. There's an old saying; "you are the average of your five closest friends"; and like all cliches or truisms, there is a solid foundation of truth in that. 

I know how hard it is to cut people from your life; especially people who are closely related to you, or with whom you have been friends since grade school; but the reality is that many of our so called "friends" actually revel in criticizing us, bringing us down, gossiping about us, or constantly complaining, whinging and moaning about their lives and the injustices done to them. These people are hurting you and you need to create distance from them. Even if it is impossible to actually "jettison" them, and I do understand that; at least spend as little time with them as possible, 

Surround yourself with people; who share your vision of life; who lift you up and praise you, when you try something new; who will always offer their advice, their time and their skills to help you achieve what you want to achieve. In today's exciting, interconnected world it is so much easier to find these people than it has ever been before. 

Your time on this planet is short - don't waste a second of it in negative, destructive and ultimately useless personal interaction. You owe it to yourself. If you are the best you can be, you automatically can help others achieve their dreams also.      

The last food for thought I'd like to pass on today is a simple method (that I actually use) to help create the wonderful, exciting, happy, purposeful life that you were born to live - that you absolutely and totally deserve to have. It's a method developed by a man called Andy Shaw and it is as simple, as it is effective:

• Decide NOW (this very moment) what it is you truly desire to have or do in the future.
• Experience having, or doing that thing, completely and utterly, inside your own mind, until what it is you desire to have or do is already part of your own reality. 
• When you have achieved what you want in your own mind then set about working diligently to bring it into everyone else's reality. 

It's a simple technique, but an incredibly powerful one and most important of all, it works.

CHOOSE TO BE FEARLESS - EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITIES AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! 

Have a great life and spread the love! 

 Changing the world – one reader at a time!  

Here we are now at the third of my six articles on self-discovery - the halfway point and it is appropriate that today we will talk about the most important word in the English language - LOVE! 

For millennium love has been the most talked about, written about, sung about and misunderstood word. 

When we talk about love we are speaking of so much more than the common perception of love for your partner, your family or your favorite things. Love is an all pervasive entity that impacts on every thing we do, think and say, every single day. 

There is a reason why love has always been the at the center of all great religions and faiths. Simply put, love is the ultimate power in the Universe. Everything good, joyful and wonderful in this world and in our lives is brought about by love. Everything negative, sad and destructive in the world and in our lives, is brought about simply; by a lack of love. The key to success and happiness is to "FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE".

Yes love is an emotion, and probably the most powerful of all emotions, but it is so much more than that - it is a force, a power that drives our very existence. If it were not for love we would not even exist. It was the poet Robert Browning who said; "Take away love and our earth is a tomb". If the force of love were to disappear from the earth tomorrow, humanity would dwindle and eventually die out.

Everything we as human beings take for granted today was originally thought of, designed and created by people who loved what they were doing. If it were not for the Wright brothers' love of the idea of flight, we would not have discovered how to fly. If it were not for people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs who had a burning love and passion to create the personal computer we would not have the wonderful variety of technological gadgets that allow us to communicate and save us time and effort every day. Without exception everyone who has achieved great success in life has achieved it through love. By doing what they love, what they believe in and what drives them to get up every morning they have harnessed the power of love to achieve greatness and success. 

What allows these exceptional achievers to reach the heights that they reach is exactly the same thing that resides in each and every one of us. We are complete - there is nothing missing in us or in our makeup. We all have, inside of us, the tools and abilities to achieve anything we desire. The key to success is understanding and harnessing the greatest power in the Universe - Love!

If, as we have discussed previously, our ultimate goal in life is merely the simple one of being happy, then love plays a vital role in achieving that happiness. 

None of us actually wants to do the things we do not love - that would be silly. We all want to spend our lives doing what sets our hearts on fire. We all want to wake every morning bursting to get out of bed and start our day, filled with enthusiasm and excitement for the challenges and rewards that the new day holds. For most of us though this seems just a pipe-dream. We feel locked into lives that we cannot change; we feel we have responsibilities that we just cannot shirk; and we are deathly afraid to take a chance on something new - to take a chance on life. 

I can think of nothing sadder in life than to be sitting back at the end of our days looking back over our journey and saying; "if only". Dr Wayne W. Dwyer says: "Don't die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice, and don't get to the end of your life and say; What if my whole life has been wrong?" We owe it to ourselves to not allow that to happen. YOU deserve the very best - I know I keep repeating this over and over again, but that's because it's true. YOU really are the best. Nobody that has ever lived or will ever live has your unique mix of talents, skills, personality, looks and viewpoint. YOU ARE AWESOME! Once you accept and understand just how incredible you, individually, are as a person you are well on the way to achieving the happiness we all seek.

I'm guessing here that there are some people reading this who are thinking; "Hmmm, he's very good at throwing cliches around, but how exactly am I supposed to 'fall in love with life'?" Well, that's what I'm here for; to give practical, simple steps to achieve our ultimate goal of being happy. 

So, how do you "fall in love with life"? You fall in love with life in exactly the same way you fall in love with another person; you adore everything about that person, you see only good things in that person, you turn away from and ignore any negative things in that person; and you think about and dwell on that person constantly. To apply these to your daily life, here are some simple tips on how to approach life from an attitude of love and to "fall in love with life".

• When you wake up every morning don't get out of bed and start your day immediately. Spend just a few minutes being grateful for all the wonderful things in your life, including the fact that you have yet another day to enjoy in this life. 

• Be optimistic about everything. I often tell the story of the two men who get up in the morning and throw open their windows. One man says; "Good morning God!" whereas the second man says; "Good God! It's morning!" Be that first man! So often we look at situations and events from a pessimistic outlook. Embrace the positive - we live in a world of duality; in every negative situation or event there is always something positive to be found, if you look for it. 

• Stop wandering around in a state of utter unconsciousness. Most of us are totally unaware of our surroundings and the beauty in them. We wander around, either wrapped up inside our own heads planning this or that, or worse still nose down peering at some device or other. Look around you - "smell the flowers!" Even in the most concrete of urban jungles there are beautiful things to be seen. Look for them - put away the electronic devices and see the beauty in nature, in architecture, and in the people that are all around you. 

• Wherever you go and whatever you do, be constantly on the lookout for things you love. Say to yourself as you walk along, or drive along; "I love the shape of that building; I love the smell of those flowers; I love the color of that woman's hair; Oh, I absolutely love that handbag, those shoes, that car, those mountains, that mall etc etc..."

• Make a list of the things you love: I've mentioned before the power of actually writing (or typing) things down. There is a direct correlation between writing something down and the likelihood of it sticking in your subconscious, so make a list of everything you absolutely love. You'll be surprised just how long it can be! 

• Don't criticize, judge or gossip about others. That is not giving love! There is so much to love about everyone we meet; if we look always for the positive in people. We don't know their stories and we can only change one person - ourselves; so "live and let live!" 

• Surround yourself with like-minded people. We become the sum of the people and attitudes of the people we are closest to. If we surround ourselves with negative people who constantly criticize and complain; we will find ourselves constantly criticizing and complaining.      
  

There is so much in this world to love and the more we love, the more goodness and joy will come into our lives. It is important to note that this isn't just about being more positive and optimistic in life. Yes, that in itself is indeed a great attitude to have and should be the aim, but it is what results from this love and positivity that is actually so incredible. 

The Law of Attraction clearly states that what we give; we shall receive. If we give love, optimism and positivity out to the world, then the events, circumstance and people that come into our lives will be loving, positive, and successful. Similarly if we give out despair, sadness, pessimism and negativity out to the world, then the events, circumstance and people that come into our lives will be hurtful, negative, and will drag us down.

I'd like to finish today with an incredible thought for the future: 

If everything negative in this world is brought about by a lack of love, ponder for a few moments the immense power of individuals who actually choose to love. If we all agree that the world needs more love, then what are we waiting for? Let us all make the change and "fall in love with life". If enough of us do we can actually tip the world from negativity into positivity; then just watch the wonders that will occur when that happens.

We live on a gorgeous, beautiful, planet with infinite resources. There is no shortage of anything and when we, as a human race, fully embrace the concept of loving each other, embracing and celebrating our differences rather than fearing or hating them - we will have created the world we were always destined to inherit. Be part of the movement to change our world, by changing yourself. You can and do make a difference.

Till next week:      

In this, the second article of my six-part series on self-discovery, we will look at the role that attitude plays in both improving your own life and the lives of those that you surround yourself with; your loved ones, your friends, your work colleagues and everyone else that you interact with on a daily basis. 

As discussed last week, your thoughts and actions are like ripples on a pond, spreading out, influencing and affecting everyone around you. Most important though your attitude affects YOU! It affects how you feel, how you think and how you act. If you want to succeed at anything you need to ensure your attitude is spot on. Henry Ford said it best, when he said; "If you think you can, or you think you can't, then either way you are right!" If you truly want to achieve something, especially something beyond your normal comfort zone, if you think you can do it; you're well on the way to success, but if you start off the whole process with a list of reasons why you can't achieve your goal - then guess what? You won't! ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!  

The key to success is belief. Most of us desperately want to believe in ourselves, but we allow that insane little creature inside our head (our ego) to convince us that we are just simply not good enough to do it. You know exactly what I'm talking about - you come up with an idea, something you desperately want to try and immediately that little voice inside your head gives you 101 reasons why you can't do it - you're too old, you're not smart enough, you don't have enough resources, you don't know enough about it...and so on and so on, ad infinitum. What your ego is desperately trying to do is protect you from the pain of failure and retain the status quo, 

The status quo is simple, it's comfortable, it's easy, so your ego tries its very best to knock you down at every opportunity and remind you of your perceived shortcomings. What we need to understand is that our ego is NOT us - it is not the real you, it is merely a collection of pre-programmed ideas and concepts that were drilled into us from our very earliest days. You may remember your parents, your teachers or your friends saying things like; "Oh rich people are just lucky, or even worse, all rich people must be crooks; you need to find a stable career, something to support your family; leaders are born, not made - some of us are just meant to be followers; only the really smart people can succeed in life; or perhaps the worst of all, you just have to accept your lot in life, there's nothing you can do about it" As we grow up we accept these things as being gospel and we limit our opportunities and life accordingly. 

NONE OF THIS IS TRUE! You have infinite power inside of you to change anything in your life and in your circumstances - life does not have to happen to you; you can make life happen for you, and it all begins with your attitude.

I love this quote from Rhonda Byrne's book "The Hero"; "It isn't necessary to have big dreams, but if you don't have big dreams; big dreams can't come true." One of the first things that happens when we begin to get "ground down" by life is that we lose the inspiration and ability to dream. Without dreams we are just mere shells of the amazing, awesome human beings that we were meant to be. Dreams, aspirations and goals are what makes us unique in this world. 

Everyone should have big, wild, seemingly impossible dreams - it's what gives us a sense of purpose, of fulfillment and of wonder. If you reach for the stars, even if you don't always make it, you'll surely come closer to heaven. We need to remind ourselves that this is OUR life; not our parent's life, not our bosses life, not our children's life, not even our spouses life - but it is OUR life and we need to work toward making our dreams come true, for our own sake. 

One of the biggest problems I see with people who make a commitment to following their dreams or to set goals, is an immediate attempt to try and map out the path toward success. This is a big mistake! You will never be able to clearly see the path toward achieving your dreams. The key to achieving your dreams, is to actually start out on the road to achieving them - not in trying to figure out how to get there. Whether you believe it is The Law of Attraction, the Power of the Universe, Karma, or just plain good luck doesn't actually matter; the reality is that when you are following your dreams and approaching life with the right attitude; the people, the circumstances and the opportunities WILL appear in your life and will show you the way.

There are as many ways of;  beginning this journey in search of your dreams, as there are "self-help" gurus out there offering to help you on your journey. I'll just share with you the simple method I use, which doesn't involve a hell of a lot of effort, but does get spectacular results. I will have to necessarily credit Andy Shaw of "Creating a Bug-Free Mind" for the essence of this system, because he was the one that taught it to me: 



1/ Get very clear in your own mind what it is you want: 

What is the specific goal(s) you want to achieve? The very best way to do this is to write it down. There is something decidedly effective about expressing your thoughts on paper. Let's take an example from my own life. When I first started writing, I decided my first and my biggest goal was to be a best-selling novelist. That is what I wanted my future career to be, so I wrote down in my list of goals: "I want to write a novel; I want my novel to be published; I want to sell a million copies of my novel. 

Now, it is important to note that I had absolutely no idea how this could be achieved. I knew nothing about the publishing industry, I'd never written anything longer than a University Essay and most importantly of all, I really didn't believe I could do it. Of course, at this point my ego was blasting away at me telling me how stupid I was. "Who do you think you are? You? Write a novel? Get real Grant!" Despite all this swirling around in my head, I just laughed at my ego, and told it - just you wait and see fool!

2/ Live your dream inside of your head; make it a reality for you!

This really is the fun part of the whole process. It involves using our imagination to really feel and experience our dreams come true. You must feel all the emotions you will experience when your dream actually happens. For me it was a case of picturing myself writing the first chapter; the sense of deep satisfaction I felt when I typed; "Chapter 2, on my manuscript. I visualized in my head the entire process of writing the novel. I experienced the joy, the pain and the anguish of the characters in my novel (incidentally this process also gave me some great plot ideas). Finally, I felt and enjoyed the absolute satisfaction of completion - the moment when I looked at my manuscript and boldly typed; THE END. There was a real feeling of elation and contentment in the finishing of a manuscript and I experienced all of that long before I had written a single word.

I also pictured and felt in my mind the joy and pride of holding a book in my hand that bore my name, as the Author. I saw the cover (incidentally my pictured cover bore no relationship to the final actual cover, but that doesn't matter). I actually pictured myself sitting on the floor of my lounge-room ripping open my box of books, holding one up for my wife to photograph, with this enormous grin all over my face. I felt all the excitement and joy that I would experience at that moment.

I have also experienced and lived the thrill of watching my book climb up the Amazon Charts. I have seen it listed in the best-seller's list in its genre. I have even watched the moment when the sales clicked over to one million. It is also worth noting here that the Author page that I have created in my mind has not just one book for sale on it, but many. I have already lived this dream in my mind. It is REAL for me.  

3/ Work diligently to bring YOUR reality into everyone else's reality: 

This is the part where so many of us fall over when we are attempting to follow our dreams. It's not just enough to dream it, to experience it inside our minds, we also have to actually do some work to bring our reality into the world. Again, it is important not to look at the HOW will I achieve my goal. What you need to do is only to focus on one thing that will bring you closer to where you want to be. Rhonda Byrne has a very good quote that describes this perfectly. "You can only EVER take one step at a time, so that's all you actually need to do - take the next step."

For me this was crucial. I had no real idea how to construct a novel; how to write anything longer than a few thousand words. So, all I did was focus on writing the next chapter. Once I had decided what would happen in that chapter, I would set about writing it and a wonderful and mysterious thing happened. Every time I neared the end of the chapter, the idea for the next chapter would spring forth. Before I knew it I had a complete manuscript. This is the beauty of following this system. You don't know how you will succeed, but the Universe does and it will lead you gently down the right path to success. 

Exactly the same thing occurred when it came time to look for a way to be published. I knew nothing of the industry and it soon became apparent that traditional publishing roads were going to be long, tiring, and full of rejection and disappointment. Deciding that wasn't for me, I looked at other options and just like magic I discovered Pentian Publishing a Spanish Crowd-sourcing company who were looking to expand into the English speaking market. I submitted my manuscript and was shocked, excited and overwhelmed when it was accepted. My manuscript was just the second English book they had accepted for publication. 

There are still many parts of my reality that haven't actually been brought into everyone else's reality YET - but I'm just doing what Andy Shaw teaches and working diligently on them; one step at a time. 

I really hope this simple system of making your dreams into a reality gives you some inspiration to try it in your own lives. Remember; "If you think you can, or you think you can't, either way you are right!" GIVE IT A GO AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!          

Before I finish today, I'd just like to give you some quick and simple tips on ways to change your attitude from the negative to the positive:
 
1/ Before you get up in the morning, spend just 5 minutes listing in your head all things you can and should be grateful for.

2/ Read, listen to and watch less news. In fact, why not do what I did and have a total media ban for a month. You'll be amazed at how much the negative news has been subtly impacting on your attitude and thoughts.

3/ When you are walking somewhere, smile at people, for absolutely no reason other than you want to share your good mood and attitude.

4/ We live in a world of duality - for every negative circumstance, there is ALWAYS a positive opportunity. Look for the positive in everything and just turn away from the negative. 

5/ Pay absolutely no mind to anything anyone says about you or does to you. Their opinions cannot hurt you - only your reaction can. Just turn away and be happy and proud of who you really are.

6/ Get into the habit of performing small "random acts of kindness" every single day. They make the recipients day and they also make you feel absolutely awesome. It can be something as simple as standing for a lady or an elderly person on the train or the bus; holding a door open for somebody; or giving a few pesos to an elderly or disabled beggar. It doesn't matter really because once it becomes an ingrained habit for you, the benefits will surely be seen in your attitude, your thoughts and your actions. 
        
7/ Don't listen to, or spread gossip. Gossip really only hurts one person - YOU! You never know the full story of anyone's life, so don't judge them and certainly don't start or pass on rumors or gossip about them. There is only one person in this world you can control and that is you. 

There are many other little tips, but that's a good start, and I'm sure you can come up with many more. In fact, please feel free to leave a comment on this blog, with your ideas and tips. I'm always excited to get new ideas.  

Till next week - have an awesome week and maintain an attitude of gratitude.

As promised in last week's blog, I will spend the next six blogs explaining and expanding on the qualities of life that I mentioned. The first of those was this: "LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD".

Far too often we can easily fall into the habit of assuming that life is a trial, some sort of painful process that we must go through to reach some "mythical" or "promised" destination. For some, that destination might be "heaven", for others it might be "paradise", or it might be some form of "reincarnation", but it is a recorded fact that the vast majority of people do actually choose to believe that this is not all there is - that there is something greater and better to come, in the "hereafter". 

I'm certainly not going to dispute their beliefs or their faith - that is personal to them and I respect every individual's right to choose their own path. For me personally, I do believe in an "hereafter", but only in so far as I know that we are made of energy and energy can never be destroyed, it can only be converted; so what that "hereafter" may look like I have absolutely no idea and even less concern. I (like every single one of you reading this) am eternal. The energy that makes up the essential me always was, and always will be.

No indeed, the hereafter can look after itself. What I am concerned to talk about is the here and now - the PRESENT; this thing we call life. On average most of us will have around 28,000 days of life on this planet (some a little more and some a little less) and what concerns me is how we spend those days. What are we supposed to do with this thing called life? 

If we take my opening comment - "Life is supposed to be good" and examine it, what can we discover? Firstly, if life is meant to be good, then it surely changes our whole outlook on everything we do. If we are meant to live a life filled with joy and happiness, doing what we absolutely love then suddenly we can look at our own lives with new eyes - why are we not experiencing that joy and happiness that we are meant to receive? 

I would pose the question: Does it make any sense that we would be put on this planet to struggle, to suffer and to experience great pain - slaving at a job that neither fulfills us nor excites us just so we can grab a few fleeting moments of joy and pleasure at weekends (if we're lucky)? What would be the point of a life like that? Sadly, for many, that is exactly how they would describe their own lives. 

Well, I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way - life IS supposed to be wonderful.

The impact that we make when we finally realize that to change our lives and our worldly circumstances what we need to do is to change ourselves and the way we think is much greater than you might imagine. The best analogy I've read to illustrate this is what is known as the "butterfly effect". It poetically and eloquently sums up the massive effect that the change in one person's outlook and attitude can have on the rest of the world. "When a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, it sets in motion a chain of events that ends with a tornado in Texas." This is exactly what happens when we change our outlook on life, our thoughts, and our actions. By flapping our wings we set in motion a chain of events that impacts firstly on ourselves, our families, our friends, our work colleagues and ultimately on society as a whole. When we choose to embrace life and love life we make a real difference in more than just our own lives. This is the pure beauty of falling in love with life. 

My tag line for my blogs has always been; "Changing the world - one reader at a time!" and this is the perfect example of putting my beliefs into action. I can't change the world in massive strokes - I'm not a world leader, a great politician, a great scientist or a well respected business leader, but if one person makes a positive change in their life after reading one of my blogs, the "butterfly effect" ensures that my actions will spread; like ripples in a pond through that person's family, friends, colleagues and community. I believe we all have this power within us to change the world for the better - and lets be honest this world desperately needs change; it needs salvation and that salvation can only come from within those of us who choose to change.

One of the first things we should understand is that EVERYONE and I do mean everyone that inhabits this beautiful world called Earth has a special and unique talent that can and should be shared with the world. Unfortunately the vast majority of us never get to understand or realize what that unique talent is and deprive ourselves and everyone else of the joy and creativity that they could be indulging in. For me, that unique talent is the ability to share my thoughts, ideas and visions through the written word and although it took me far too many of my 28,000 allotted days to discover that talent, I am now committed and excited to spend the rest of the days I have left doing exactly that - writing. 

I strongly believe that the happiest, most joyful people in the world are those that have discovered their unique talent and have managed to combine it with an ability to earn an income from it. We all know people who are doing what they truly love to do and also making a living doing it - whether they be entrepreneurs, musicians, artists, writers, actors, scientists, doctors, nurses; whatever, by developing and practicing their unique ability they have combined happiness with wealth and for most of us that would seem to be a perfect recipe for life.

So, to answer the question I posed in the title of this blog: Life - Why? In one word the purpose of life is to be HAPPY! All success and fulfillment in life comes from HAPPINESS and happiness comes from the perspective of LOVE. To achieve happiness and fulfillment in life, you really must "fall in love with life" and cease to view it as a trial or a struggle that you must get through. You should wake up every morning excited and thrilled at the opportunities each new day has to offer. Every day of life of our 28,000 days is a true gift and we must treasure and nurture each day as being the absolute wonder that it is. Stop living in the past (regretting the things we did or didn't do); Stop worrying about the future (it will be determined by what you do today) and live 100% in the marvel of the present - of today (for that is all you can ever have and all you can ever influence). 

Now, I want to finish by challenging every single person that reads this blog to do just one thing after having read it.

I don't want you to quit your job and hightail it off to a Tibetan monastery or to an Indian Yogi, or whatever, to seek further enlightenment. I don't even want you to make massive changes in your life. I just want you to do this:

Sometime in the next few days I want you to find some time for yourself. Just thirty minutes where you won't be interrupted by children, by your spouse, or by your electronic devices (in fact turn off your cellphone for thirty whole minutes - can you do that?) I want you to sit down in a quiet room and write a list of what truly excites you, what gives you real pleasure and joy. These can be things you already do (such as hobbies or interests) or they can be things you've always wanted to try (a sort of bucket list), but most importantly they must be things that you know will put you in that place of bliss. 

Now, over the next week I want you to either spend some time indulging in that activity or making concrete plans to try one thing you've always dreamed of trying. When you do this I want you to picture yourself actually participating in that event. I want you to feel the emotion, the excitement, the trepidation even, of trying something new. When you are finished I want you to feel in your mind that you have already achieved it. I want you to feel the excitement and sense of achievement of accomplishing that thing. Most of all I want you to treasure and remember the feeling of bliss you experienced when participating in your activity. 

It is from this type of exercise that your unique talent will make itself aware to you. You will probably receive a massive flash of inspiration or intuition that this is something you are not only good at, it is something that fills you with joy and happiness. This is what life is supposed to be about. 

I'll leave you today with one final thought: Every day this coming week, when you wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed, even before you start to think about the day ahead and what it might hold for you, just say the following sentence to yourself (saying it out loud is even more powerful and effective): "Today I CHOOSE to be happy". The power of those words is enough to set your day off on the right foot. "TODAY I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!" 



Have an awesome week and remember always; you are a special, unique child of the Universe. Nobody has the abilities and talents that you have. Be proud of who you are and love life.  

Today, I'd like to talk about one of the fastest growing and explosive industries in the world today - that of self-improvement. The self-improvement gurus of the world are everywhere, especially on the internet; all desperately trying to grab your attention, your email address and most importantly, your money. 

If the Eighties was the decade of the fitness craze; with Jazzercise, Jazzergetics and Jazz.....just about anything; the Nineties was the decade of the ME Generation, governed and driven by one burning desire - to create more wealth for ME; although to what end, I'm not totally sure; then what of the Twenty-First Century?

The first decade of this Century has been marked, without a doubt, by the information explosion. The internet has opened up the world to just about everyone. The decade's most compelling feature has been the explosion of online Social Media; be it Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, or the veritable host of other ways of connecting and communicating with people. 

These trends all have one interlinking and fascinating thread. None of them, it seems has made us any wiser, any happier, or any more fulfilled. We still seem to be searching for that panacea - that formula that will help us understand the point of our existence - Herald the decade of the "self-improvement gurus"!

It's almost as if all over the world, the baby-boomers of the fifties and sixties have either just reached retirement or are rapidly approaching it; and they are sitting back and asking the question: Is this it? Is this what I've been slaving away for sixty hours a week to achieve? Into this vacuum of knowledge and doubt, riding astride their white chargers come the self-help gurus to solve all of our problems with their particular system or program. Now, I'm not trying to denigrate the work these people do - it all does contain the essence of truth, but to differentiate it from their neighbor's program, they have to make it seem different - seem special; because at the end of the day what they want is your money. That's what keeps them in their own, wonderful world of abundance. 

Since I began my own voyage of self-discovery around four years ago, I've read, listened to, or watched many of these programs and let me tell you right off the bat - many of them are incredibly compelling and hard to resist. I thank God every single day that I don't have a credit card because I have no doubt if I did, I would have succumbed to the temptation on numerous occasions and my shelves would be filled, like so many other people's, with books, DVD's and computer programs that I'd read or viewed and then consigned to the shelf in the sure and certain knowledge that my life was about to get better - NOT!

What I have done is assimilate much knowledge over these past four years about some basic principles that we need to live our lives by if we want to experience true abundance, happiness and joy. All the advice and direction from the "gurus" is wonderful and useful information, but at its core always remains some very basic principles that any of us can put into practice in our one lives and make an enormous difference to our life, as well as that of our family and wider circle of friends.   

The idea of self-improvement has been around for decades; one only has to think of the work of people like; Earl Nightingale, with his long playing records; Napoleon Hill, with his seminal work, "Think and Grow Rich", or even Tony Robbins, with his frenetic, almost theatrical stage shows. I think it is fair to say that it was the 2006 release of Rhonda Byrne's, movie "The Secret" that finally brought this whole new way of looking at life, fairly and squarely into the public arena. Since "The Secret" was released, and of course featured on the most influential talk show of them all - Oprah, the concept of "The Law of Attraction" and of abundance has reached and been seen by literally hundreds of millions of people. Most of the self-improvement gurus of today can trace their genealogy directly to the release of that movie.

Right from the start I need to say; "I don't believe 'The Law of Attraction' is real - I know, with an absolute certainty, it is real; we are and we become what we think." That having been said, whether you believe in it or not, is totally irrelevant - it will influence your life in no less a way than gravity, electromagnetism or any other natural law, whatever you believe. 

As I said earlier, there are a plethora of self-help gurus out there vying for your attention. If you stumble across one that resonates with you, that actually makes a difference in the way you're thinking, then by all means grab a hold of that person and suck as much useful information as you can from them. They all offer some of their insight for free (it's their cunning way of (a) getting your email address and (b) convincing you to buy the rest of their product to get the bits they didn't give you for free). I have literally read hundreds of different gurus over the past four years and although I still get nuggets of pure gold from all them from time to time, there are a few who actually make me sit up and listen - for different reasons. 

I'll give their names, but in no way am I suggesting that just because they resonate with me, they also will with you. 

As I stated at the start, I want to give you just a few of the absolute gems that I have discovered to date on my journey. Over the next six weeks I will expand on each of these in turn, but for now I would like to just give you some food for thought and ideas on what makes for a life full of purpose and joy:

1/ Life is SUPPOSED to be good: You are meant to live a life of joy and happiness, doing what you absolutely love doing and making a difference in your life, your family's life, your friend's lives and in society as a whole. You were not meant to live a life of struggle and pain - working all hours God sends in a job that has no satisfaction or joy for you, grabbing only a few brief hours of pleasure at the weekends. What would be the point of your life?  

2/ Attitude is Everything: I love Henry Ford's quote to describe best what I mean by this: "If you think you can, or if you think you can't - you're right." Everything we do needs to be approached with an attitude of achievement. I didn't think I could write a novel, and for many years I was right. Once I thought to myself that I could do it - I absolutely did it! Incidentally said novel is called "The Second Coming" and will be available this coming month. Please buy it and feed a starving writer! 

3/ Love is the ultimate power in the Universe: Everything good, joyful and wonderful in this world and in our life is brought about by love. Everything negative, sad and destructive in the world and in our life, is brought about simply; by a lack of love. The key to success and happiness is to "fall in love with life". 

4/ Fear, doubt, anxiety, and worry rob us of the wonderful opportunities that are presented to us every single day. We spend so much of our lives worrying about things that are outside of our control, that we forget or miss the chances to experience the things that can bring us the joy and the happiness that every one of us so richly deserves. The key is to live in the PRESENT! 

5/ Happiness IS a choice: Happiness is a personal choice that we can and should make every single day. What is the benefit to us and everyone around us from choosing to be unhappy? It is the most pointless of decisions and yet so many of us continually make the decision not to be happy. As Andy Shaw would say in his no-nonsense way; "That's just insanity!" 

6/ Gratitude is the oil that makes the engines of abundance flow freely. Gratitude is a word that you will come across in every single self-help book you ever read. We all like to think we are grateful most of the time, but when you actually analyse your own behaviors you will quickly realize just what ungrateful little beggars we really are. I know I sure did. Gratitude has a power that absolutely defies belief. I can't actually tell you where I got this little gem of a quote from, but to me it sums it up perfectly. "If the only prayer you ever utter in your entire life is; 'Thank You', then that's enough".

So there we have it; the six fundamental, core beliefs I now live my life by. As I said earlier, I'll devote the next six blogs to expanding and explaining more about those core beliefs. Why? Because it really is that critical to understanding the power of the Universe. There are so many "gurus" out there now, that sometimes you just have to strip away the puffery and look at the core. All of the gurus have these core beliefs, they just have their own unique way of presenting them and in doing so, have created an enormous, billion-dollar industry. 

Till next week:

Well, since I've been away for a couple of weeks, I thought I'd do something a bit different for the first blog back after my break. 

Now, you remember when you were a kid and every year the first day back at school after the summer break was always the same: "Okay children, I want you to write an essay on what you did in your Summer Holidays". So, that's what I will do you for you today - an essay entitled: "What I did on my Summer Vacation".  

This year, unlike in previous summers, we did not go to the beach for our vacation. We traveled instead to San Jose, Occidental Mindoro to attend my wife Tess' Grand High School Reunion and College Reunion. You can fly from Manila to San Jose in around 35 minutes, but we never like to take the easy route, so we did the trip by land and sea with the reliable old Dimple Star Bus Line. 

So it was, that at 3 a.m. on the Friday morning Thess, our youngest daughter Rose, and I headed out of our door for the epic sixteen and a half hour journey to San Jose. Personally, I love doing the trip by land, you get to see so much more and somehow it seems like more of an adventure than the impersonality of a quick airplane trip. You get to meet and chat with fellow passengers; who like you, are just stuck on the bus with nowhere to go and nothing to do. It somehow seems much more egalitarian, if somewhat more tiring, than traveling by plane. 

To give you some idea of the travel involved; from home, it was a jeepney ride to Novaliches, then a bus trip to Santolan, where we boarded the Dimple Star Bus. At Santolan, we had two choices; we could go on the bus to Abra de Ilog in Occidental Mindoro and travel down the western side of the island to San Jose, or we could go via Calapan in Oriental Mindoro, and travel down the eastern side of the island, before crossing the mountains at the bottom, to San Jose. Being the adventurous souls that we are, we chose the Calapan route, as we'd never done it that way before.

Sixteen and a half bone shaking hours later we emerged from our bus, stretching, "oohing" and "aahing" to grab a quick tricycle ride to our accommodation at The Sikatuna Beach Hotel.    

The first two days of our visit were taken up with activities related to the Grand Reunion 2015 of St Joseph's School of San Jose. 

One of the things I've always been aware of since I've been living here is the great importance that Filipino's place on family, on barkada (circle of friends) and on home town. I suspect it is partly because so many Filipinos are spread all around the world, either working as OFW's (Overseas Foreign Workers) or having emigrated to other countries. I read somewhere once that the Philippine people are the most geographically dispersed nationality in the world. This may go to the heart of the reason why reunions (of any sort) are so popular and so widespread in this country.

Personally, I've never been to a school reunion (my own) in my life, and I couldn't imagine ever having the desire to do so, but for Filipinos, school reunions are big news and very important to them. We have a lot to thank Facebook for in reuniting so many of these old classmates. Prior to my arrival here Thess had not attended one of her High School Reunions, but it was reconnecting with her old friends on Facebook that convinced her to take the plunge and to go. This reunion, the 2015 version, was our second that we had attended. 

Now bear in mind that St Joseph's School (for girls only) actually closed in the mid 1980's, some thirty odd years ago and yet after all that time there is still a vibrant and hard-working alumni in San Jose who work their tails off to put together this amazing Grand Reunion every three years. People literally do travel from all over the world to attend and to reunite, reconnect and reminisce with their old buddies from their school days. For me, who has been privileged enough to have witnessed this event twice, it is quite simply incredible and awe-inspiring.   

Saturday started bright and early, with appropriately enough for a Catholic School, a Mass at the local Catholic Church - and then the fun began. The Saturday was dedicated to each Batch organising and making their own fun among themselves, and boy did they do that! 

Thess' Batch was Batch 76 and they all met, following the Mass, at the Seaside Restobar in San Jose, where the organising committee had done an amazing job of putting together a wonderful feed as well as lots of home-made entertainment.

As one of only, I think, three men in the room at the time I had an absolute blast watching these middle-aged ladies, completely and utterly let their hair down. They danced, they sang, they ate, they posed for numerous photos and most importantly they caught up with each other - their High School friends of so many years ago. I was privileged to be able to watch some of the most staid, prim and proper women of Manila, San Jose and many parts elsewhere, let go and have fun. It was just so entertaining to see them enjoying themselves so completely. The highlight for me was the stripper impersonation dance by one of the more distinguished members of the alumni, who shall remain nameless; (but we know who you are). Fear not, the video is safely locked away in the vault.         

After the celebrations we repaired to the house of one of the Alumni, where the dancing, eating, singing and general merriment would continue. I asked Thess at one stage; "who were the 'mean girls' at School?" I mean every batch has their bunch of cliquey "mean girls" - right? The thing was she couldn't remember anyone fitting that description. Certainly there were no cliques at the reunion. Sure there were girls who were closer than others at High School, but thirty nine years on, everyone was everyone's friend. 

There was a special part of the Batch 76 reunion where the ladies remembered their school friends who were no longer with them. One of the things Batch 76 had done was to set up a fund to assist those of them who had fallen on hard times and also to provide a scholarship fund for the children of their own. 

We were privy to a very emotional and moving speech by the recipient of this scholarship. His mother (the ladies classmate) had died several years earlier and without the scholarship this young man would never have had the opportunity to pursue his dreams. There was nary a dry eye in the house after his speech of thanks and gratitude to the alumni. Long may this attitude of giving and support continue to provide assistance to future generations.     

Sunday was dedicated to the Grand Reunion 2015. In the morning there was a parade of buses and trucks through the town of San Jose. Unfortunately Thess didn't quite make it to the parade this year as there was also a parade through the town of the native Mangyan people, down from their mountain villages. The resultant traffic chaos ensure that she did not arrive in time to join in the cavalcade. 

The Grand Reunion itself was again held at the Divine Word College gymnasium (thankfully now air-conditioned) on the Sunday evening. I have no idea of the numbers of woman that poured into the gymnasium that evening, but I suspect it was upward of two thousand. There were a few of the Illuminati to be spotted among the crowds of laughing, jostling women. The Mayor and Deputy Mayor of San Jose put in a brief appearance. I imagine the sheer volume of women present was more than enough to scare him and his colleague off - but for whatever reason they weren't in attendance for long. Also present was the former Governor of Occidental Mindoro, and now Congresswoman, the Honorable Josephine Ramirez Sato, a former student of St Joseph's School. 

The presence of these dignitaries in no way inhibited the women of SJS who continued their excited chatter and laughing through all the necessary but interminably long speeches. Nobody seemed to mind though and as one lady was heard to quip following the former principal's speech of welcome: "She used to talk too much when we were schoolgirls - she certainly hasn't changed." 

As the night drew to a close, with the obligatory hugs, kisses and farewells we were left to reflect on yet another successful Grand Reunion of SJS. Sadly I did point out to Thess that with the school long closed, there will eventually come a day when such reunions are no longer viable, but until that day these ladies of San Jose and parts everywhere will come together to celebrate the special days of their youth. Roll on Grand Reunion 2018 - We'll be there!      

After two full days of eating, general silliness and never-ending laughter it was on to the more sedate and staid arena of the Divine Word College Reunion. Held in the same venue as the SJS reunion, it was totally different, yet equally enjoyable. Thess had not only graduated from Divine Word, she had also worked there both during her student days and later, after graduation, so for her it was a chance to catch up, after many. many years with batch-mates and colleagues alike.

The SJS women, just by the sheer size of their reunion were required to fill the bleachers on either side of the gymnasium, whereas the Divine Word attendees were able to sit at tables and chairs in the middle of the gym. The food was superb, but for me the most telling point of the evening came when the MC proffered the thought that maybe one day the Divine Word College Reunion would rival the spirit, excitement and camaraderie of the SJS reunion. To me that spoke volumes of the impact the SJS women still have on the San Jose community, even so long after their school was closed down. 

What amazed me the most was the recognition factor. Even after almost forty odd years everyone still seemed to know instinctively who each other was. All I can say my darling, is your High School and College years must have been much more memorable for you, than mine were for me. 

I know Thess was thrilled to spend time with so many of her old friends from those early adult years. By the time we returned to the hotel that evening she was glowing with the sheer pleasure of the last three days. For me, who never even went to these schools, the reunions were just as much fun as for Thess. I have a whole new circle of friends now and to see my darling wife so happy, so joyful and so uninhibited, just overflows my heart.  

Our summer vacation was concluded with some time spent at Thess' Papang's place in Rizal, a small rural community in the hinterland of Occidental Mindoro, about 40 klms from San Jose. After the excitement of the reunions it was a chance to lay back and rest, letting the worries of the world just fall off you. I always cherish the time we spend in Rizal because I suspect little has changed in their way of life over the past decades. It is quiet, peaceful and downright restful. 

Fully recharged we headed back to Manila after a brief overnight stop in Mamburao at the home of Thess' sister. 

All in all, a very different vacation from the usual, but an immensely enjoyable one. No, I didn't get to do any swimming this time around, but as the photo shows at least we were able to enjoy the peaceful solitude of a walk along Sikatuna Beach in San Jose.

And that is what I did this Summer - I hope you enjoyed reading it and give me an A+ please 

I intimated in my last blog that I would reveal just exactly what it is I personally believe in. I teased you with the word “Omnism”. If you look that up in an online dictionary the definition is given as: “The belief in all religions”. I chose this word because although it doesn’t quite express what I truly believe, it comes as close as anything I can think of. As individuals I believe we create our own reality; and religion, (in whatever form it takes), is many people’s reality – their belief. I respect and will always champion their right to believe whatever they choose to believe; whatever reality they choose to make for themselves. It is only when they try to force their beliefs on other people that I would feel compelled to take a stand.    
Beliefs change over time; that’s important to understand. What we believed as a child is clearly different to what we believe as an adult. We are programmed, conditioned creatures and until we can break that programming and begin to think for ourselves, our beliefs are those imparted by our parents, our families, our friends, our teachers, and society as a whole. 


I can sum up my own personal beliefs (as they are today) in a few succinct paragraphs:

So, those are my core beliefs, if you like. 

There is so much more that underlies each of these beliefs, but it is impossible to cover them in one short blog. I will expand on some of them in future blogs, but if you want to know more; don’t hesitate to contact me. I can certainly point you in the right direction or perhaps even help you with some advice myself. 


 Have a great life and spread the love! 


 Changing the world – one reader at a time!  

In a country deeply rooted in its Spanish Catholic history (with around 85% of the population still professing to be followers of the Catholic Faith), Holy Week represents a tug-of-war between the somber and stern ways of our Lola’s (Grandmother's) and the call of our young, less traditional children. My wife has often regaled me with tales of her beloved Lola’s tough attitudes to the celebration of Holy Week. “We were not allowed to wear colored clothes, we certainly were not allowed to laugh or have any fun, and all we were allowed to eat were simple, plain meals like sardines and rice – certainly no meat for us on Holy Week.” She tells me that, as children, they were taught that Holy Week was a time for solemn reflection and for remembering what Christ suffered on the Cross for their transgressions. Simply put, Holy Week was to be a time of denial, of reflection and most importantly of all a time of penitence for our unworthiness to receive this ultimate gift of grace.

Over the years, as Thess worked hard to instill this ethos into her own children but she discovered, like we all have, that the world had changed in what seemed like a blink of the eye. Holy Week no longer holds the mystique and mystery, for this generation that it once had for our generation. For many Holy Week is now seen as merely an opportunity to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life and to head for the resorts and beaches of this beautiful country. In my mind; that seems like a pretty damn good activity to be indulging in when the mercury climbs through the roof.

Indeed, this Holy Week our family has again indulged in the traditional exit from Manila; all heading for the home Province of Occidental Mindoro for a rendezvous with the glorious beaches of Mamburao and a reunion with those of the family still left in the province. I say “our family” however I have to exclude my wife and I. We have been party to this mass exodus for a few years now, but for a variety of reasons Thess decided we should eschew the joys of Lagundian Beach this year. “We will just stay at home and spend some time together;” (a rare opportunity these days), so that seemed a pretty reasonable option; although when I saw the first photos posted on FB from the rest of the gang at the beach, I did feel those little pangs of jealousy tickle at my heart.

“So, sweetheart,” I asked, arching one eyebrow in a not so subtle suggestion, “just what do we plan to do with our Holy Week?” Her answer was not quite the one I was hoping for, but then “hope springs eternal”. Her suggestion was that we tour some Churches and undertake a Catholic tradition called: “The Stations of the Cross.” Now as regular readers will know, I’m not Catholic, but I will always respect and honor Thess’ faith and beliefs. I love the woman – and that includes everything she believes in and holds dear. To do otherwise; in my opinion, would be to make my love conditional – and I don’t do conditional! What she had in mind was to link up with our daughter-in-law who was also stuck in Manila with her three children and we would tour seven different churches in seven different towns in Rizal Province; performing two of the “Stations of the Cross” at each Church. It seemed like a reasonable proposition, especially since the car is air-conditioned, and I do love touring the old Churches in this country. Since it seemed a pretty good way to get out of town for a day; I readily agreed.

There is something quite special about entering a house of worship that was built some 400 odd years ago and has survived floods, earthquakes, typhoons and war, to still be standing and serving the people of its community so well. I do marvel at the grandeur of the Catholic Faith – they do “grandeur” so much better than most. As we were tripping around and stopping to perform the rites at each Church, a few things struck me.

Firstly; I was thrilled to see that although the times they are a changing, plenty of families were still on the same pilgrimage as we were. There were still thousands of people touring around visiting the Churches on this boiling hot Maundy Thursday. It was clear that, for some, eschewing the beach for the more thoughtful and reflective task of remembering their faith was still in vogue. I noticed that families were using this opportunity to bond and to spend time together – a truly worthy activity. Although this was an opportunity to reinforce their faith they didn’t let it stand in the way of enjoying each other’s company. There was much laughter and merriment accompanying the fulfillment of “The Stations of the Cross”. The children, as children always do, just saw it as an opportunity to run, to jump and to play – and nobody cared that they were enjoying themselves. There were very few “negative” people in sight.

The question did arise; as it often does in our household as to what I do actually believe in? You know, I’ve given this topic a lot of thought over the years and its answer probably requires a blog of its own – keep tuned. As a teaser, the closest word I can think of that describes my beliefs is probably; “Omnism” (Check it up in an online dictionary)     

Would I rather have been on Lagundian Beach with the children – maybe, but I thank my beautiful wife for her excellent idea to take a break from everyday routine and just reflect on how lucky we are and what a wonderful life we now have. Thank you darling – you were right; AS ALWAYS!

A final thought - Whatever you do this Holy Week; make it something you do together, as a family, that promotes peace, happiness and tranquility in your life. Have a wonderful and restful break and remember always - DON'T WORRY; BE HAPPY! 

Changing the world - one reader at a time!  

I pondered greatly over what to write about this morning. I absolutely love Saturday mornings because they mean it is blog time! As someone who is engaged five days a week in writing a novel, the chance to break out from my fantasy characters to write a blog, is just the balance I need to keep my life the joyful, fulfilling, and intensely happy one that it is today. 

I had a few topics in mind this morning, but in the end something in my stomach (no not last night's dinner) kept telling me I needed to write this particular blog, which I have entitled: "The Essential You!" I am dedicating this blog to a very special woman who played a much greater part in my personal redemption than she will ever know. This blog is for you Avis! I hope you enjoy it.   

Now my dear friend Avis, if you can tell anything from somebody's Facebook posts, appears to have had an epiphany of her own, in recent times. I am surmising that she is on her own voyage of self-discovery and trying to find the Avis she knows she once was - The Essential Avis. So, as I said, this blog is specifically for you and for anyone else who has lost the essence of who they truly are. 

I'm reasonably confident that most people who know me well, might give me many labels or names, but "new-age" or "wishy-washy" probably wouldn't be among them, so all I'm just asking you to do is to briefly suspend judgement on what I'm saying here and to approach it with a totally open mind.

When we were children we had absolutely no cares or concerns about the future, about what people thought about us, or indeed about what the purpose of our life was. We lived totally, 100% in the present, absorbed in whatever task or hobby, or toy that gave us pleasure and happiness. Somewhere along the way we lost that ability to enjoy the moment, to revel in the things that gave us pleasure. Why did we lose that sheer joy in living, that ability to find fun and enjoyment in the simplest of things. When did we stop having fun and start taking this thing called life, so seriously? 

For most of us the subtle brainwashing began when we were very young. Our parents would tell us what their dreams and plans were for our future. When we went to school we were told to "stop day-dreaming", to "concentrate on the lessons" and what was the most important thing that was drilled into us at school; "life isn't fair kids". Our youthful enthusiasm and idealism generally managed to keep these voices at bay and we continued to enjoy our passions and our hobbies right up until it was time to graduate high-school. So, then what happened?   

We were told in no uncertain terms that it was "time to put away the toys, time to grow up and time to concentrate on getting ahead, in this world". So, like dutiful, little robots we pushed our hobbies, our passions and the things that gave us real pleasure into the back-ground, so we could concentrate on learning the things that would get us a "real job", would give us security and ensure that we had a happy life. 

The question I want to pose here is a simple one; Did the pursuit of society's model life for us, make us happy? Everyone's answer no doubt will be different, but I suggest you look around and just ask yourself truthfully; am I happy? Do I jump out of bed with enthusiasm and joy every morning to greet the new day? Do I approach each day with an intense desire to discover new experiences, to make a difference in people's lives and to live that day with all the passion I have inside of me? If the answer to any of those questions is no, then there is something inherently wrong - and you know it! 

You won't find a solution, to any lack of meaning, in the outside world. The world, and other people are - just what they are. You can't change them and you shouldn't expend your valuable energy trying to. The solution to finding meaning is inside of you! The only way to truly live as we were all meant to live - happily and joyfully, is inside of you. You need to rediscover the essential you - you need to stop acting and conforming to other's expectations and act and conform to who you really are. 

You are incredibly special - you are a unique individual who has creative talents and abilities that nobody else that has ever lived or will ever live, has. When we realize that we are limitless in our potential then we actually can change the world. If we live to our own potential - if we become who we really are, instead of a facade or a mask that we put on every morning we will live a life that is infinitely happier and more joyous than we do now. Imagine the effect of that on your loved ones, your work colleagues, your friends. They will marvel at this free, happy, contented you and as the famous line from; "When Harry Met Sally" went, they also will say: "I'll have some of what she's having". Find the essential you and be an inspiration to the world!    

People are always telling me that they have to do this...or they have to do that, just to ensure they can put food on the table for their families and pay for a roof over their heads. I'm not for a second suggesting that everyone should quit their jobs and head off on a journey of self-discovery to a Tibetan temple to live with the monks for a year - although that would be cool! All I'm suggesting is that if they reconnect with that carefree, loving, happy, joyful and unworried person they were when they were a child, their life will change immeasurably. Start small - instead of flopping on the couch this evening, exhausted after a hard day at the office, and vegetating in front of the television; try instead to look at the things that excited you when you were young - plan how to get involved in those thing again. Perhaps you loved drawing - consider getting into painting or computer graphics. For everyone it is a different experience, but for the sake of you and your loved ones, give it a try.  

When you make this change inside of you, don't be at all surprised when outside circumstance, situations, and opportunities suddenly magically start to conform to the new essential you. While I realize that some people are hesitant to believe that they can change their outside environment just by changing themselves, the reality is that is exactly what happens. If you are skeptical, what do you have to lose by giving it a try? - Oh that's right you have all that angst, worry, irritation, anger, annoyance, sadness, grief, and disappointment to lose. Well, we wouldn't want that to happen - now would we?      

I was watching a video the other day and the presenter made a statement that absolutely resonated with me. He said; "of all the creatures on this planet, we are the only ones blessed with the ability to dream, to desire, and to seek our own happiness and fulfillment. Do you really think we would have been blessed with these abilities, if there was no way to make those dreams, desires and happiness occur? Whether we believe in a Creator or whether we believe in a perfect Universe, the answer is the same - we are created perfect (in God's image in fact), therefore every ability we have is both useful and operable. We do have the ability to alter our reality through our thoughts, our dreams and our desires. If we accept that, then the possibilities are endless. We really are truly creators. 

This journey all starts with rediscovering the essential you. The key to the process is to develop a deep love for yourself - who you are! You are not defined by the past, by your actions or the circumstances of your past. You are not defined by what happened to you or was done to you before. You, the essential you, is perfect in every way. How often do you hear people say; "Oh, I'll be happy when we have that new house; or I'll be happy when we finally get the kids through College; or I'll be happy when we retire? What a crock! We were not born to suffer, we were not born to struggle - we were born to be the very best us, we can possibly be. There is no need for self-improvement - there's nothing broken, you are already perfect. What you have to do is accept it and love yourself for the perfect being you are.  

If you find the essential you, and live every day in the sure and certain knowledge that you are a wonderful, special human being that has all the abilities and talents unique to you, then you can be happy now! 

In summary I just want to say that you don't have to believe in what I believe in. You can believe in anything you like - you have free choice. That is the one of the beauties of being the essential you. Nobody else's opinion actually matters, but yours. What I am telling you though is that if you find who you really are, and live the life you really want to live - the outside circumstances of your life will change with you. This is not "new age" hocus-pocus - this is a simple reality; an immutable truth. If you don't believe me, that's absolutely fine, but if you try it, I guarantee the results will astound you. 

Just for a moment, I would ask you to dream as John Lennon once did when he wrote the song Imagine. Just imagine if everyone in your circle of life lived their lives to the fullest of their abilities; if everyone you knew was being who they really were and not some conditioned robot conforming to partner's, their peers, or society's expectations - imagine how much happier and joyous everyone's daily life would be.



So, give it a go! Make the change! You can only change one person - YOU! 

Rediscover the essential you and "change the world - one life at time".  

I have to admit that I thought I was finished with the Pope's visit to our fair shores, but true to form, we have one final parting thought from the Pontiff that has caused some angst and shock among the faithful. Apparently Francis made a statement at his press conference on the plane returning him to Rome, along the lines that "To be a good Catholic does not necessitate breeding like rabbits." 

To me, it was just an off-the-cuff remark made by a man who was weary and unguarded after a long and at times very trying (weather-wise) visit to Sri Lanka and The Philippines. I think what is important here is to remember, among all the euphoria of the Papal visit is that first and foremost, Pope Francis is a man - a human being, and as such he will sometimes say things that are not always politically correct, indeed may be mistakes and not intended that way. We do have a tendency to lionize our leaders - to give them a pedestal that places them above us mere mortals. Even more so, the Pope - the leader of the 1.2 billion Catholics across the world. Many people firmly believe that the Pope is God's chosen messenger on earth, and as such they have a tendency to deify him and give him a persona that places him somewhere between Earth and Heaven. 

The Pope is human, just like you and me. He pulls his pants on one leg at a time in the morning, just like we do and if we wanted to be vulgar, he has to visit the toilet as regularly as we do. If you want more proof of the Pope's humanity, you only need look at photographs of this man when he was Archbishop of Buenos Aries - when he was just plain Archbishop Jorge Mario Bergoglio. If you "google" photos of this time in his life you will see he was often pictured as a tired looking, elderly cleric who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Compare that to Pope Francis, as he is today and you will get some idea of what I'm trying to say. Now, he really does have the weight of the world on his shoulders and yet what we see now is a smiling, confident, grandfatherly like, elderly man who seems to have boundless energy, a real sense of fun and a never-ending compassion for the marginalized in our Society. Clearly, Pope Francis has changed the way he approaches his tasks as Pontiff, from his days as an Archbishop. He is still the same man, but he realizes that his role as the leader of the Universal Church requires something other than the piety, solemnity and gravity that he brought to his previous role.      

Pope Francis has no doubt realized the inappropriateness of his "breeding like rabbits" statement and has already been distancing himself from his comments. In one of his latest pronouncements he stated that he believed that large families were wonderful. I was amused, however, to read some of the comments of horror and outrage that followed the Pontiff's gaffe. Funniest of all was from Senator Sotto who stated that he refused to believe that the Pope would have said any such a thing. I guess this makes some sense though, as it seems to me that all politicians in this country believe that there are classes of humans (levels if you like) and those at the top (themselves included) are not capable of committing simple mistakes and revealing their human frailties. How much more then that the Pope would stand at the very top of this human triangle. Well, I'm sorry to say that all those that felt horror and angst over the Pope's comments seem to have forgotten his humanity and his human frailty. 

What is way more important, in my opinion, is the message that the Pontiff left us with and continues to remind us of, upon his return to The Vatican. The underlying causes of poverty are NOT large families, as so many of the uninformed people in the Western World seem to contend, but the underlying causes of poverty ARE first and foremost, inequality in the distribution of resources and secondly, but probably equally important (especially here) corruption. 

My fervent hope is that these two issues will be continued to be addressed by whatever party or people's populate Malacanang after 2016. I personally believe the Aquino administration has made a real and concerted effort to start reforms in these area, although I am aware many consider otherwise. As I write this I am watching on television, in the background, the resumption of the Senate Blue Ribbon Committee inquiry into alleged overpricing of the Makati Town Hall Building II. Despite what some are saying, and despite the drama and theatrics that these blood-letting sessions bring, they truly are necessary. 

Here's the thing - of course this investigation is politically motivated, but that is IRRELEVANT. If there is corruption, I don't care how it is uncovered, or indeed why it was uncovered. 

The man under investigation is planning to run for the Presidency of this Country in 2016 - the people deserve to know if he is corrupt or not and if he's not corrupt then surely he has nothing to fear. We must seek out and expose corruption wherever it exists and if this steps on a few toes or upsets a few people's sensibilities, then I say so be it!      

As usual I do seem to be straying into one of my other great passions - politics, so I'll get back to the Pope's basic message. 

We (all of the world), need to address the issues raised by Pope Francis - especially those of inequality and corruption. I read something absolutely horrifying this morning. According to Oxfam (a widely respected NGO), by next year 50% of the world's resources will be owned and controlled by just 1% of the world's population. Even more scarily Oxfam offer us their calculation that the bottom 80% of the population will own and control just 5.5% of the world's resources. I guess, using my very basic math's skills from High-School, that means the remaining 19% of the population (I assume this is the middle-class) own and control the balance of 44.5% of the world's resources.      

All I ask is that you just contemplate those claims for a few minutes. 

Doesn't that seem wrong? 

How can it possibly be right or equitable that just 1% of humanity can control half the world's resources? How can it possibly be right that 80% of our fellow human beings can only own 5.5% of the world's resources. Inequality is what leads to almost every social ill we face across the planet; poverty, crime, rebellion and ultimately civil-anarchy. 

It is wrong, as many try to claim, that social ills are caused by religion and religious conflict. Invariably religious conflict is created by fundamentalists who twist and warp their faiths to meet their own agendas. Why they manage to gain such traction is simple - they are preaching to the 80% of this world who only control 5.5% of the world's resources. All that huge mass of humanity is seeking is a way out of poverty or someone to blame for their situations - fundamentalists give them a perfect scapegoat and target for their despair and rage.  

So, what is to be done? How can we address this massive inequality and how can we heed the Pontiff's message? 

At an international level I think two things are required. 

Firstly, the leaders of the developed world must accept that their nations, through firstly physical colonization and the accompanying systematic rape of the colonized country's resources and secondly through the process of economic colonization (or as some like to call it - globalization) they again have continued to contribute to the exploitation and raping of the developing world's resources for their own profits The international community must use the arms in its arsenal; such as The World Bank, The International Monetary Fund, The United Nations, The World Economic Forum and the many and varied social equality NGO's around the world to begin to address the inequality. 

Whether this can successfully happen is open to debate, but what I am starting to see around the developed world is an understanding that they do not operate independently, that the nation states who "have" DO owe a duty to the nation states that "do not have". Whether this realization is driven to some extent by fear (of the "do not haves") or whether it is driven by a collective national conscience, I'm unsure, but all I can hope is that the work currently being done to address the global inequalities, as well as the work on climate change (which affects the poor far more greatly than the wealthy) continues to grow apace.

If we bring the message back home to our own beautiful land - what can we as individuals do to address the massive inequalities that we see every day on the streets of the Metro and in the barrios of the Provinces? How can we continue to implement and live the Pope's message of compassion and mercy?

I guess most importantly we must ensure that come 2016 we elect a President and an administration that is committed to continuing, expanding on and completing the reforms begun by the Aquino administration. As voters you all owe a duty to your fellow Filipinos to ensure that we NEVER return to the days of patronage politics, cronyism and endemic corruption. If all the funds lost to corruption were instead channeled to the marginalized in our society, massive strides could be made in addressing this issue.   

I was personally particularly moved by one of the lines of the song that was, I think written specifically for the Pope's visit. I may not have the lyrics dead right, but it went something like this: "Have you ever held the children's hands, when you gave them alms - have you ever bought them bread to eat". What that line said to me was it was not enough to just give a street kid or a beggar a few pesos and then to walk away, conscience salved. What it says to me is that we, who are lucky enough to, if not be one of the "haves" then at least be one of the "has some" have a duty not just to share what we have with those who are in the "have nots" group, but we actually have a duty to connect with them on a much deeper level.

So, what can we do? My challenge to all Filipinos who are comfortable in their lives is to move out of their "comfort zones" and become actively involved in making a difference in the lives of the "have nots". Get out from behind the walls of your gated communities and become involved in the lives of your fellow human beings - your fellow Filipinos. Maybe you could join an NGO (Preferably not a Janet Lim Napoles NGO) that works with the marginalized in our society and volunteer that most precious commodity that you have - your time. Pope Francis calls on us all to show mercy and compassion - let us heed his call in the most practical way possible.

Finally I want to appeal to the Churches (all of them - not just the Catholic Church) - the shepherds of their flocks, to get out of their flash, opulent buildings, with all the accompanying trappings of wealth and security, and to actually engage on a personal level with your flocks. As Pope Francis says; our most important role is pastoral, as "Pastors" to our flocks. If the people are not coming to you, go and meet them where they live, where they struggle to survive. 

Francis embodies the true character of the Jesuit Priest, one who is less concerned about his own comfort than he is about the comfort of his flock. 

To all the priests, pastors, reverends, church leaders, and laity out there - follow the example of humility and generosity shown by Pope Francis. 

Without a doubt that is the most important message Pope Francis brought to our shores and my fervent hope is that the "good feelings" and "good intentions" (The Francis Factor), that his visit gave us, will indeed last longer than the proverbial "two weeks". 

Pope Francis brought us his humility, his humanity and his vision for the future - let us heed that and act today. 

Again I say maraming, maraming salamat Po...Lolo Kiko we love you!

The end of the Papal Visit - I promise       

Well, Pope Francis has left the building. 

His five days spent in our Country has seen much of the Metro grind to a halt and has also seen such an outpouring of love and devotion that I, for one, have certainly never witnessed. As a non-Catholic I have always been a tad skeptical of the Catholic Church and its trappings of great wealth and great power. I am now a convert. The Papacy, in the form of Pope Francis, has given me renewed hope for the future of the Catholic Church. This Pope personifies everything that a religious leader should be; caring, loving, deeply committed to his flock and most of all full of humanity, humility, mercy and compassion. I can honestly say that there were times in the past few days when I have been moved incredibly deeply by the depth of feelings generated within me by Francis' words. 

To say that the 80 million Catholics in this country have taken Papa Francisco (or Lolo Kiko) to their hearts, minds and souls would be a total understatement. From the second he stepped out from the Sri Lankan airline's plane and his skullcap blew off, the entire country has taken this man to their hearts. Filipino's love and adore their Pope. 

I, along with six or seven million other Filipino's (the number varies depending on who you listen to) made the trek on Sunday to celebrate an open air mass at the Quirino Grandstand, with their beloved Papa Francisco. I agreed to go with my darling wife for a number of reasons, but principal among those was the idea that only once in my lifetime would I probably have a chance to be part of something as big, as momentous and as powerful as this - upwards of seven million people all converging on one place with the same self purpose; to celebrate their faith. I wanted to experience this just once in my life, so we determined to go. 

One thing I have learnt in my years in this country is that above all else, Filipino's are among the happiest people in the world (and it is important to note that many have no reason to be so - and yet they are). The Filipino psyche just loves an occasion - a celebration - a party - a fiesta - a reason to sing, to dance and to laugh. The visit of Pope Francis gave us all those things and just to be able to be a part of that seething tide of humanity that made its way into Luneta Park on Sunday was both a privilege and an honor for me. I was swept along in a moving sea of people who were laughing, chatting and enjoying their occasion - this was their opportunity to celebrate the visit of their most revered icon within the Church - Their Pope (The People's Pope). They had already taken Pope Francis deep within their hearts. They happily chanted: Lolo Kiko - We Love You and Papa Francisco - Mahal Ng Filipino! 

Far and away the most important reason for all these people to have flocked to see and to hear Pope Francis, however, is their deep and abiding faith. Don't let anyone tell you that the Filipino is drifting away from the Church. Yes, Masses may not be as well attended as in previous years (although many more still attend Mass regularly than in any other country), but deep within the Filipino heart is an unshakable belief in the power of the Almighty and the sure and certain belief that God will look after them. They are a deeply religious people and although there is a veneer of urban sophistication on the surface, especially here in the Metro, always very close beneath is their faith. Scratch the veneer even slightly and you will see their true faith and beliefs emerge.    

By the time Thess and I had maneuvered our way from the entrance at Luneta Park, through innumerable checkpoints, barriers and seemingly impenetrable walls of people, to our final spot to the right of the Quirino Grandstand, several hours had passed. We found a good spot to sit, within one of the quadrants by around 10am and just as we settled down to pass the time until the mass at 3.30pm, the rain began - a rain that did not cease for the remainder of the day. Both of us were ill-prepared for this blessing from the skies, in just light clothes and no raincoats - before long we were thoroughly drenched and extremely cold. Fortunately we decided to try and move a little closer to the stage, which we were successful in doing, and we were able to seek some partial shelter from the rain under a tree. There we waited the hours until the Pope's arrival. We were cold, we were wet, and we were extraordinarily uncomfortable - but we were there and we were so happy to be so!

What are my most abiding memories of Pope Francis' visit. To be honest there are just so, so many moving moments that it would be hard to pick just a few. Both Thess and I found ourselves glued to the television for the entire time he was here. We just couldn't stop watching what was so incredibly compelling. Both of us were frequently deeply moved by what we witnessed and heard in front of our eyes on the excellent almost round-the-clock coverage. If I were to summarize just a few highlight for me personally, they would be: 

4/ The words the Pope spoke to the faithful at Tacloban. I wondered what the Pope would say to the survivors of the horror that was Yolanda. Would he try and find a reason for what happened? Would he suggest some divine plan? Or would he try and blame man's own stupidity in damaging the environment? He did none of those. His words were as simple as they were compelling and meaningful. All he said was (and I paraphrase a little here) - I have no words to offer you to explain what happened; all I have is the silence and tears of my heart. By the time Francis had finished his homily there were few, if any, dry eyes in the crowd or indeed among the millions of us watching on television. 

5/ The Mass at the University of Santo Tomas: Francis spoke so movingly of a young girl's question - a question delivered through a veil of tears. "Why do the children always have to suffer?"  was her question of the Pope. His answer was both meaningful and moving. He reminded us all that until we learn to truly weep ourselves, at the injustices of our world, we can never understand or change the suffering of the people, especially of the children. We must learn to cry and to be moved by their suffering before we can act. 

6/ Finally, the response of a Father to the loss of his only daughter gave us such great insight into the depth of faith of the Filipino. Sadly, a young volunteer was killed when a scaffold fell on her at the completion of the Tacloban Mass amid the furious winds and rain of Tropical Storm Amang. When Pope Francis returned to Manila he asked to meet the young girl's Father (her Mother was working in Hong Kong as an Overseas Foreign Worker (OFW). She was their only daughter and during the meeting her Father explained to Francis that he had planned to watch the Papal Visit only on television, but that his beloved daughter had organised for him to meet the Holy Father. The Pope's response to the bereaved Father was relayed to us by Cardinal Tagle. He was so moved by the Father's comments, the Cardinal told us, that his only words were: "Such Faith - Such Faith". 

I'm feeling a tad philosophical today, so I'm going to wax a bit lyrical and investigate some deeper thoughts on life and love. 

You know, it wasn't that long ago that I had no idea what the answer to the question I've posed in my title was. I had spent so many years, like many other people, chasing dreams that were either not what I really wanted, or worse, were actually bad for me. I guess like everyone else out there we all tried the hit and miss methods of seeking happiness. 

The last four years of my life have taught me some inalienable truths about life. I try never to have any regrets, as I've always been a firm believer that everything that has happened to me up to this point was leading me, in a circuitous route at times, to the exact spot where I am now. But, if I was to allow myself just one regret it would be that it took me so long to wake up to myself and realize just what it was that I really wanted. 

So, you may ask, what are there inalienable truths I've learnt about life, oh great Sage?

1/ YOU are the commander of your own destiny. Nothing that happens in your life, outside of you, is controllable by you. Only you can chart the course of your own life. Only you can make your reality what it is and should be. Too often we accept other people's expectations and limitations on us, without question. You know exactly what I'm talking about: Our parents, our teachers, our peers, our friends, they all impose their own limitations on us. "Oh come on, you can't possibly do that, it's just too hard for you."; "Don't be silly, that's not a real job. You need to get a real job and earn money to support your family. It's a great hobby, but it's not a job."; "You should stick to what you know, what you're good at." From the day we are born we are conditioned by others as to who and what we should be and become. I finally said no more to that conditioning. Writing is my bliss and it's what I'll do from now until my final breath. Everything else will take care of itself.  

So - Happiness is being an individual - doing what you want and doing what gives you joy; being the boss of your own life. 

2/ There's no point in doing whatever you want to do, if you have to do it alone, with nobody to share that joy with. Solo joy is no joy at all. We are social animals - we were born to love and to be loved. Without love, life has no meaning. There is a reason that humanity organised itself, over time, into family groups. The family is the ultimate unit for sharing love. I don't care how your family is constituted - whether it is two men, two women, a mixture of both, de-facto or married - what is important is that family is the source of all love and the only point for being. We can pretend we are happy to be alone, to live our life solo, but the truth is, I don't believe it. We need to love and to be loved to fully enjoy life. 

So - Happiness is loving and being loved. 

3/ There's absolutely no point in worrying about the past or what you did in the past. It is gone - it is unchangeable and it is HISTORY. Learn from it, apologize to those who need apologizing to and move on. Equally there is no point in worrying about the future. By all means plan for the future, but don't worry about it - it will be here soon enough. The only thing you can change is the here and now - right this very second, so live every second to the fullest. I always used to wonder what people meant when they said they planned to "live more in the present". I get it now. The present - your reality today, is all there is. There may be no tomorrow, yesterday's well and truly done and dusted, so there really is only today. 

Life is short and it certainly is not a dress-rehearsal. Do you really want to be sitting back in a rest-home when you reach your dotage, wondering about what might have been. Forget the "bucket lists", just do what you want to do now. If you've dreamed of always trying something, then just do it - forget about what everyone else says - just do it. On average we only get to live around 27-29,000 days and I don't know about you, but I've already wasted a fair few of them, so for me it's all about cramming every experience I desire into what time is left. 

So - Happiness is living every day like it's your last (It just might be)

4/ Make your attitude right. I finally realized that living is actually a true privilege and no matter where you are in your journey, if you maintain the right attitude, you can make the most of whatever situation you find yourself. 

What is the right attitude? For me it is an attitude of gratefulness. Gratefulness for life, gratefulness for family, gratefulness for everything I have in my life. I can guarantee you that no matter what your circumstances are there is ALWAYS something you can be grateful for. No matter how bad you might think your life is - there's always someone worse off than you. If nothing else we can be grateful for the air we breathe, the plants in the garden, the eyes we see with, the sleep we have, the life we are blessed to lead every day. Gratefulness is the most powerful force that I've discovered to actually improve my life and change my reality. There's both an emotional and a physical benefit to approaching every day with a grateful attitude. Don't just believe me - try it and see. It works. 

So - Happiness is approaching every situation with an attitude of gratefulness. 

That is my simple recipe for a happy life. There's so much more that can be added, but I'll end now by summarizing the changes in my life that have occurred from following these four basic principles. 

1/ I'm living my dream - I'm a full-time writer now, soon to be published author. 

2/ I live in paradise (well my version of it anyway) with a woman I love and adore, some step-kids who are awesome and some grand-kids who are even more awesome (if that's possible) 

3/ When something new presents itself that I've never tried before, my first thought is always - "Why not?" rather than "Why?"

4/ Before, I could best be described as a grumpy old fart (Don't believe me? Just ask my son, it was him that called me that). Now, I'm relaxed, stress-free and loving every day I live with an attitude of deep gratitude for all I have and will have in the future.

NOW THAT'S HAPPINESS - FOR ME! 

What is it for you?