At the time I was certain of only two things: One, I was incredibly happy with my decision to come here to The Philippines and second, I was insanely happy with my decision to marry my now wife Thess, and stay here. Beyond that, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do here or even what I wanted to do here. I had spent the first two and a half years doing exactly what I said I was doing...being a house-husband, looking after the needs of the two young girls in the house; Angeline and Rose...not that teenage girls actually need a lot of looking after.
Beyond that, I imagine I thought I was on some sort of extended vacation. I kept hoping that something would come up; something would happen; or something would occur to me to break the comfortable little existence I'd created for myself here. I even dreamed that maybe someone would offer me a job...just out of the blue like! To put it mildly, I was living a life of pure indolence and self-centeredness. I knew that this wasn't what I'd come halfway across the world to do. But what had I come here to do? I didn't have a clue...and that was the major problem.
In a lot of ways, my wife and I are polar opposites. I was a very cynical, a very critical and a very negative person. Once I realized just how powerful a tool positive thought was, in achieving success, my whole outlook on life in general changed. I began welcoming each day, grateful for all that it brought me and my family. The most important tool I took from Rhonda Byrne however was this; "We are what we believe we are!" This idea that we can be anything we want to be was a revelation to me.
Now, I had all my life been a voracious reader of books. It mattered little what the genre, the subject or the characters were; fiction, non-fiction, it mattered not one iota. If it was in a book, I'd read it. I could say I drew the line at soppy romances, but then I'd be lying. I can recall numerous times when desperate for something new to read, I'd pick up a Mills & Boon or a True Romance novel. I'm not proud of it, but like I said...if it was words on paper, I'd read it.
I have always been in awe of authors; writers who can put together a cogent story over hundreds of pages. I always secretly wished that I could do the same. I had stories to tell. I had interesting tales to unfold...but simply put, I had no idea where to start and perhaps more importantly I was terrified of the idea of failure.
Rhonda Byrne, Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and other contributors to The Secret made me realize that I could be anything I thought I could be...including a writer, an author. When I look back over my working career, most of which was focused on accountancy, I now realize that the ONLY time I had any true job satisfaction was when I was writing...albeit as a reporter on a small-town, community newspaper. That was when I was at my happiest...that was when I relished going to work each day and that was when I was proudest of my achievements...I AM A WRITER! That is my destiny. This was what I took from The Secret.
That was all well and good, but where to start? That was the question. I put the whole novel issue on the back burner for a start. The idea of sitting down and writing an entire novel was still a little mind blowing for me. So, I started by creating my own website where I could write "articles", if you like; about where I lived, what I was doing and life here in The Philippines. www.grantleishman.weebly.com I also added a blog section to the website where I could put my random thoughts and ideas.
When it was complete, I will be honest...I was pretty chuffed with what I'd done. For the first few weeks my site had heaps of traffic. My FaceBook friends were kind enough to visit from time to time. Now, of course, interest has died down, but for me that's not really the point. The website was and is a place for me to express my creative efforts and thoughts and ideas. It serves a real purpose for me in giving me an outlet to be "published".
Ultimately I know the website will be the primary source of information on my books and on me, in the future. Of course, yes, that was still the big elephant in the room...my books...my novels...or should I say my lack of them.
Now, for anyone like me who lived in New Zealand in the late 1980's and early 90's if I said Anik Singal was the modern day incarnation of Suzanne Paul, everyone would nod their heads wisely and know exactly what I was talking about.
The beauty of what Anik Singal was telling me, and the bit I was able to get from him for free, was this: He also was a great believer in the power of The Secret, but he realized that what The Secret lacked was the path to follow to get from now to the achieving of your dreams. Anik, for me, provided the tools to turn my dream of writing a novel...into the reality of writing a novel.
My first novel; tentatively titled "The Second Coming" is now, just two weeks after beginning it, already over a third finished. With Anik's simple tools I was able to turn my dream (my fantasy really) into reality.
So, am I an author now? Yes! Do I have any published works? No! Will I have published works in the future? Yes, you are damn right I will!
To all those authors out there who already have numerous books in the marketplace, do I feel embarrassed to class myself in the same category as you? No! I am still in awe of your achievements and abilities, but now what I see is that you are just at a different place on the same road as me. I do wish I'd discovered my passion for writing earlier, but then maybe that would have changed who am I and my point of view, so in my mind, I am what I think I am...and I think I'm an author!
Thanks to all the people who have subtly steered me in one direction or another over the course of my life...I now find myself exactly where I am meant to be; an author, living my dream.
I THINK : THEREFORE I AM!