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GRANT LEISHMAN

Self-Improvement/Self-Acceptance?

26/1/2015

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One of the things I like to do every day before I start my day's writing is to watch or listen to some inspirational videos. It seems to give me the mind-set that I am seeking when I begin the day's writing exercise. 

Over the past six month's I have enrolled in, or subscribed to; many of the current, so called, experts or gurus in the self-help or motivational field. You know the sort of thing I mean - "How to get a millionaire's brain", "The secret they forgot to tell you in 'The Secret' movie", or "How to manifest your dreams without even trying".To be fair most of them just warrant a glance or a quick read and then are consigned to the recycle bin. I don't mind them though - it doesn't take too long to skim through them each morning and invariably inside some of them are a collection of "inspirational" videos that I can watch to kick-start my day. I quite enjoy looking for the hidden gems among the dross. To date, I've managed to resist that temptation to actually buy a product, although they are very, very clever marketers and they are real good at pushing the right buttons in your mind and your consciousness. I have come close on a couple of occasions, but whenever that happens I just sit back and think to myself, "Now what will Thess say when I tell her I've bought it?" That's usually enough to stop me. 

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Anyway, getting back to the theme of this blog, I found an absolute gem this morning that got me thinking and the more I thought about it, the more I came to understand and believe what the presenter was saying and the more I wanted to share it with you. His message was very basic. "The reason most self-help, self-improvement systems and programs don't work is incredibly simple: "YOU ARE NOT BROKEN - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE FIXED!" Now this really got me to thinking. What did he mean, "I am not broken? Aren't we all just a little bit broken - isn't that what everyone always tells us?" and therein lies the hidden truth. "Everyone says this, and everyone believes it. We are conditioned to believe we are damaged goods, that we are not perfect." 

What this presenter was saying was the exact opposite - WE ARE PERFECT! What is wrong with us in our self-perception. We have spent years listening to our parents, our friends, our colleagues and society in general telling us what is wrong with us, where we need to improve, what we need to change in ourselves to be successful in life. By the time we reach adulthood we are so crammed full of self doubt and angst that many of us need to seek help from therapists or self-help experts to try and straighten ourselves out. This is the nub of the billion dollar self-help industry and it is this collective fear of our own shortcomings that keeps that industry and its practitioners rolling in their lucre. What he was saying was you don't need to change a damn thing about yourself, you just need to accept that you are complete and perfect and use your "God given" gifts and talents to make your life everything you ever dreamed it could be.

To me, this seemed revolutionary, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Now, don't get me wrong, this guy wanted to sell me something as well. He wanted to sell me a program that would allow me to discover, develop and utilize those "God-given" talents. The point was, it made total sense to me as I turned it over in my mind. Both my wife and I are believers in and practitioners of "positive thinking" as portrayed by Rhonda Byrne in her film and book: "The Secret" as well as her subsequent books "The Magic" and "The Hero". Since we have adopted this positive outlook on the world, I won't say that our physical lives have changed much (although that will come!) but our emotional well-being, our spiritual depth and our mind-sets have altered immeasurably for the better. We are now both extremely happy with where we are in our lives and we know that every day it gets better and better, in every way. One thing we do every night is drift off to sleep listening to an audio book of "The Hero". I almost know the whole book by heart by now. There is one statement that Rhonda makes in that book that resonated with me the second I heard the presenter's comments this morning. She says; "There is not one human quality that you are lacking to complete the Hero's journey and to realize your dreams. Everything you will ever need is already inside of you." That statement now made total sense to me.              

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I then tried to look at the proposition from a spiritual perspective. If you are a Christian and believe in God, then let's consult his Holy Word for guidance. In Genesis it clearly states that man (and ultimately woman) was created in God's image. Now, if God is perfection, and as a Christian you believe that, and we are created in his image then ipso facto, we are perfection. So, the idea of perfection certainly fits with Western Christian dogma, I can't speak for other religions as I don't know enough about them, however I do know that when it comes to the great questions of life, most religions are fairly consistent in their principles - across the board, so it's quite possible that this concept would sit comfortably within other faiths. 

OK, so if we believe what we see and hear here, then what is wrong with us that we cannot achieve the type of lives we desire? I guess the hardest part of the whole exercise is to identify and reject other people's perceptions of ourselves and focus only on how we truly perceive ourselves and what WE want to change about ourselves. Now, that is where you may well need the help of a life-coach or a life-guru. 

PictureThe new positive me!
For me, the first step is accepting that although I may well be perfect as a human being, my behaviors, attitudes and thoughts do not always reflect that perfection. I am, through, constant immersion in positive and inspirational medium, trying to change those behaviors, attitudes and thoughts. Guess what - IT'S WORKING! I have gone from a morose, self-centered, grumpy, old fart (my son's words) to a loving, caring, happy, positive, fulfilled and driven husband, step-father and human being (my wife's words). There are still things I want to change in the way I deal with some circumstances and situations, but the important thing is they are things I truly want to change about myself, not things other people tell me I should change. Your self-perception really is all that matters in this life. If you are happy with yourself, great things will happen in your life. 

PictureThe absolute joy of my life
I have seen similar changes in my beautiful, darling wife. She was always a positive person, so she probably had less distance to go than I did, but now she is not just positive - she is downright joyful. She has become purpose-driven. She knows exactly what she wants to achieve and she is busily making that happen. That is the other lesson I took from today's presentation that I would love to share. There is only NOW in this life. Yesterday's now has already gone and time spent dwelling, obsessing, and hand-wringing over what has gone before is just ruining this NOW for you. By all means, apologize to those who were hurt in the past, if its needed, but move on an live in the current NOW. Why? Because it is the current NOW that creates your future NOW. What you do today, right this minute, is the sole determinant of how your future NOW will be.     

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You are the captain of this ship of life. It is your decisions and actions right now that determine the future. If you are positive, joyful, happy and purpose-driven NOW, this will create a future of positive results, joy, happiness and purpose. Don't come to the end of your life and have an enormous list of things you wished you had done...make that list very, very short or non-existent.

Life is awesome! Live it with all the passion and joy you can. Discover your bliss and follow it with every fiber of your being. You will reap the rewards of what you sow.       

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